“Remember to take care of yourself!” has a number of connotations. It can mean the most basic of activities, such as brushing your teeth or taking a shower. It can signify pampering yourself, like going to get a manicure or a massage. Or, especially in the more recent sense, it can mean doing what you need in order to preserve your mental health.
When I think of self-care, I think about the fact that I’m introverted. Sometimes, being around people is draining for me. I absolutely love people, and being around them makes me happy, but I can only fully enjoy the company of others if I have some time by myself sprinkled in. And by sprinkled, I mean scooped. The way to take care of myself is to make sure I’m not forcing myself to be around others 24/7, 365 days a week. People are amazing, but to pretend that I am a full-on extrovert would be detrimental to my reflective nature, and a lot of the cool things I do, such as dreaming up short story ideas or writing about my experiences, just wouldn’t happen.
Similarly, if someone is an extrovert by nature but is taking six classes and spending all of their time by themselves studying, that would have a negative impact on their happiness. It would have a negative impact on anyone’s happiness, but especially for someone who gets their energy and inspiration from being around and interacting with others. This extroverted person makes a huge difference in their community on a daily basis by being their vibrant and outgoing selves, the person that they are naturally. If they are cooped up all the time, they will be exhausted, unable to make the impact they normally do and have fun doing it. Everybody’s needs are different, and recognizing that is the first step to taking care of one’s mental wellbeing.
Related to this, there is a crucial way to love yourself that doesn’t get talked about so much: Opting into the things we want and out of the things we don’t. As a college student, I come into contact with stressed-out classmates more times a day than I can count. Why? Because all we do is continue to sign up for things that don’t align with us naturally. “I think I should take six classes this semester to achieve more academically,” says the energetic junior who really would rather expend her extra energy on joining the cross-country team. “I think I should play a sport because it will show dedication on my resume,” says the exhausted freshman who would much rather attend weekly book-club meetings. Surrounded by criticism, us students have a dangerous tendency to spend all our time doing what we think will bring us success in the future and impress others rather than what will make us happy now. We’re forgetting that this moment we’re living in is part of our life, too, not just a precursor to a future that we know nothing about yet.
Of course, the purpose of college is (partially) to prepare for the future. It’s an investment, and you should do everything you can to prepare for post-graduation. Still, it’s just as crucial that you enjoy that time and not let four years of your life pass where you are rushing from meeting to meeting, job to job, research paper to research paper. Whatever you need to be happy and generally productive at the same time, do it. Your future is important, but it will only have substance if you spend your undergrad years developing yourself, not just your personal brand and resumé. You matter, and I don’t care how cliché it sounds; you are more than your work and leadership experience. Those things are great and beneficial, but you should choose the ones you love, not the ones that you think will get you ahead the fastest. Not only is that not guaranteed, but if something you aren’t passionate about gets you ahead, are you really “ahead” at all?
Repeat after me: There is nothing wrong with what makes me feel healthiest. That includes deciding not to be president of the business club and auditioning for a play, instead. It includes taking one less class, if you can, and opting to use your extra time to work on your creative writing. Self-care does include physical things—Netflix-and-snack breaks are my fuel, after all. Still, taking care of yourself entails more than just staying alive. Your emotions are just as central to your health. Remember to take care of yourself—and I mean your heart, too.