Let me tell you a secret, but you can't tell anyone.

No one. Promise?

Okay, here goes nothing…

I am absolutely ok. I swear I am. See? I'm not crying, I'm not glaring. I'm not upset. No. I'm here, present, living. I know, you probably don't believe me. I even wonder myself why so little makes me angry? Or sad? I like to think of myself as the perfect being. I "go with the flow." I'm rational, patient, tolerant, mellow.

Oh, I see your raised eyebrows and pursed lips of doubt.

Don't look at me like that.

It's true!

It takes a lot to bother me. No actually! Nothing really makes me mad. And when I do get mad? Well, I don't. My mom told me being angry too often can lead to an early death. That's why my dad has so many grey hairs she said. Because he gets mad too easily. I don't want to die early. With my existent diagnoses of bad luck, I'm trying to get as many years in me as I can before I run out. I've trained myself to not care enough to get bothered. Oh, does that unsettle you, scare you even?

Sorry...that wasn't my intention. But yes, it's true, bad luck is a curse that I have been dealt with. With bad luck, I am chased by unfortunate events, much of it filled with embarrassment, hatred, pain, anger, grief, and heartbreak.

I look around myself sometimes, watching, observing the people surrounding me. They're busy, living, systematic. Everyone has a routine. We cycle through it day in and day out because we have to. This routine keeps us stable, secure even. You might think it's boring, yet it's the very manner of living. We are grounded by it.

Oops, I don't mean for this to sound depressing.

But I'm hopeful because I trust life. Nothing is constant, and I trust that, because it means bad things don't last forever. Oh darling, there's no need to be pessimistic.

Just as you pointed out, though good things don't last forever, human nature demands us and begs us to remember the good times. Look! Life has given me and you so much. We know love, family, friendship, passion, and kindness. There's so much to be thankful for.

I am grateful.

I am healthy, educated, and most importantly, I am loved.

You are loved.

And that's enough.

-

Well, my secret is this. Emptiness is the key. To what I have yet to figure out. As long as I don't care enough, nothing can hurt me...right?

Don't forget. Like everyone else, I am ok.

Remember, it's a secret. Shhhh...