Ladies, let’s be honest. When it comes to trying to understand the opposite sex, we tend to overthink and psychoanalyze their every move. I would strongly advocate that placing some kind of meaning on every little thing a guy does is a massive no-no and a prodigious waste of your precious time. However, one action that definitely speaks louder than words is their drink selection for you when they’re trying to make moves.
When you think about it, college guys actually have very few ways to impress us. In high school, you swooned for the all-star athletes, the class presidents, or the bad boys. And while college athletes, fraternity presidents, and bad boys still obviously turn a lot of heads, these qualities are usually discovered further down the line in our social interactions. We’re a society where first impressions matter and everyone is looking for some way to stand out in the crowd.
So, when you’re standing at the bar and a cute guy walks up, you’ll check out his looks and style, then note their social skills, and before you can even formulate an opinion you’ll hear those six words: “Can I buy you a drink?”
The fact that he’s just offering to pay gets him points. Funny how as soon as all women became feminists we were the ones buying the Vegas Bombs and Ubers. But pay attention. I will now break down the type of guy and possible scenario you are dealing with (to the best of my knowledge) based on his drink order.
OK, this is kinda cute. He’s probably a pretty genuine guy, with good values (I mean who even has those these days?!) He wants to continue talking to you, but he’s not tryna get you drunk. He might not even ask you to leave with him, but rest assured, he’s interested. I’d say an exchange of digits is likely. And even if you don’t love beer, just suck it up and sip for a second. Smile to yourself, this one might be a keeper. Same rules do not apply for a free Bud Light.
He wants to get drunk with you, but is either A: cheap and frankly kinda boring, or B: trying to be general because he doesn’t know what you like and this is usually a safe bet. Extra points if he orders it with pineapple chase.
Fun guy. Everybody loves these — they’re easy to drink and you can toss back a few without slurring your speech. He’s a good time, but that might be all there is to it (especially if he buys these for you and a group of people, instead of just you two).
For some, this is the definition of liquid courage. Kid might be a little nervous and needs a push. This is a shot that once taken could either ruin or make your night. If he’s not nervous (and you’ll probably be able to tell) then he’s looking to let loose and probably get frisky.
Double Vodka Soda or Double Gin & Tonic:
Hello, daddy. Keep this guy around, girlfriend, he knows what he’s doing. This is money moves and it certainly is not his first rodeo. He’s flexin’ for you, so take notice. Oh, and if he specifies the order with Tito's, Hendrick’s, or Bombay, keep this kid on lock.
Some Fruity Ass Mixey:
I mean… he’s trying. “Most girls like this stuff, right?” That’s usually the thought process behind this one. And if they don’t think that and are ordering it because that’s their drink of choice that’s questionable AF (minus five points). If you don’t like it, just leave it on the bar “accidentally” when you change location.
Water Long/Long Island Ice Tea:
This is the mixey for my Basic White Girls. The Pumpkin Spice Latte of cocktails. The go-to drink for anyone at Roy's who is frankly inexperienced in their drink ordering skills or just possesses an incredibly mild palette. There’s not really a meaning behind this one, he probably just assumes that if 70% of the girls at the bar are drinking it, you’ll drink it too.
AY, OK! Let’s get friggin' wild. You’re in for a night, sister. This guy is an animal.
Something On The Darker Side:
This means one of two things, both of which are not good. Homeboy either wants you plastered — gross. I can do that on my own, thank you, no need to get aggressive about it. Or he’s trying to look “manly” *eye roll*. So, should a brown bevy appear before you, make like the wind and GTFO. Unless you’re into that sorta thing and then by all means, continue! And congrats! I think you two will be very happy together.