It's every day that I feel like I'm slowly losing time to find someone to truly fall in love with. Now, I know others say, "I have all the time in the world to find someone, don't rush," but at the same time, I'm tired of being lonely and feeling like I'm falling behind.

I don't have someone to talk to about my day.

I don't have spontaneous dates or wine nights with my person.

I don't have someone to motivate and support me daily.

I once thought I found that guy, the one a girl dreams of having. One who cuddles me in the middle of the night, cares for me when I'm sick, listens to me vent and rant on pointless things, and actually likes having me around. Slowly, but surely, I fell in love with this guy and thought he was everything. He never made that conversation about what we were, but I still loved him. After two years, with nothing progressing, and him telling me he doesn't "do" relationships, I decided to do what's best for me and tried to move on.

It's harder than you could imagine. I can never settle on even the nicest of guys because, in the back of my head, you are the one I truly want. I ruin every potential relationship because I compare each and every guy to you, and they are never up to par with you. You are someone so irresistible, intelligent, and the smirk you always have on your face is something I can never forget.

I search for you in every guy, hoping that they will accept me the way you do. So far, they come up short, and I become disinterested and distance myself. I want to hope that one day soon you'll wake up and realize you lost the only girl that stayed as long as I did, and how we were so compatible. Or maybe that one day will never happen. So, for now, I'm doing what's best for me and trying to stop searching for you in every guy.