"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

College is a time to explore different hobbies, clubs, and career options but it's also a time to develop relationships. I'm sure your mind went straight to friendships or romantic endeavors, and yeah that's also very important to but what I'm talking about is a little more enlightening. Many people are too busy trying out all these new interests and filling up their resumes that they forget to deepen their spiritual relationships. And that can look different to every person, but for me personally, it was throwing all my past resentment away and finding Jesus again.

You see, I spent almost 14 years of my life attending private Catholic schools in South Florida. I went to church every week, prayed in most of my classes, became a Eucharistic minister - everything I thought I was supposed to do in order to be a good Catholic woman. And everyone told me how religious of a person I was, and that felt good... in the moment. As I neared my senior year of high school, I felt as if I was living a lie, that I was so religious and yet I didn't have a relationship with God at all. It all came to a head when I found myself in a particularly dark place, waiting for God to throw me some rope to pull me out, but He never did. I was mad and, instead of putting the blame on myself I threw it all on Him. So slowly, I started completely erasing him from my life: I stopped going to church, saying thanks, praying before bed and then I started to resent Him. It was like a switch had been flipped. I rolled my eyes during morning prayers and didn't even bother to pay attention during school-wide mass. But all I was doing was hurting myself.

"God didn't bring you this far to leave you." Philippians 1:6

Enter college and joining a sorority; I was finally starting to feel whole again, yet something was still missing. I tried filling the hole by going out all the time, partying and seeking attention from friends and boys but instead of shrinking, the hole only grew larger. I was happy yet I felt so lost, like a sheep too far away from its shepherd, and that's exactly what I was. I thought there was something greater than a relationship with God so I began to stray and graze in other pastures, but I came to the realization that there is no better company than that of Jesus. So, I began my journey back to Him at 19 years old with not much to go off of except a yearning in my chest. I was lucky enough to have a friend who graciously helped me with my journey, and along the way, I met others who cheered me on as I continued.

"Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep." Luke 15:6

It's been almost a year since I decided to turn back to Jesus and only a few months since I was reborn. I haven't reached my destination yet and I don't know if that's even possible to do on earth. Having a deep spiritual relationship with God has nothing to do with how much you read the Bible, how often you go to church or memorize scripture. That's all great and does help to an extent but it doesn't define the relationship. I mean how could any earthly practice describe your relationship with the all-powerful, all-loving God. So, stop looking for God and start seeking Him with an open heart and mind. Let Him fill every crack and crevice of your being and then you'll know true satisfaction.

"When I awake in heaven I will truly be satisfied for I will see you face to face." Psalm 17:15