I spent this past week pouring over my college's course catalog, more lost than ever as to what classes I should pick for the upcoming semester. I didn't even realize that the semester had flown by and it's not even over, yet here I am picking out what I want to do in my very near and immediate future. It's scary to think about.
People tell us not to not worry about the future and to just live in the moment, but in small ways we are planning for the future every day. Especially for someone like me, who thought she knew exactly what major she wanted and what exact career path she wanted, who is left very confused as to what to do next. There's the struggle of trying to pick the right balance between impossible, hard, medium, and then easy level classes and trying to pick which ones will be an easy A (even though I shouldn't look at it that way, I will admit having those classes are essential when they are paired with a monster like organic chemistry), which ones are required for the major/career path we are pursuing, and then the ones we actually take for the sake of learning something cool and interesting (although those unfortunately have to come last in the picking).
There's also the struggle of just fitting everything in. Do I want to have all morning classes so that my afternoons are free for naps and my nights free for club meetings or do I want to strictly have packed afternoons and a night lab here and there so I can still make it to club meetings some nights and sleep in and try to have some alone time. I knew someone who just scheduled night classes because they wanted the day to themselves, but I've also met someone who will suffer through 8 a.m.s every day knowing that they can sleep it off in the afternoon. Also, one of the worst feelings in the world is seeing the class that you really wanted with the good professor and a good time get filled right before your eyes and then that one class rearranges your entire schedule, so you panic and scramble something together last minute and it is the definition of dysfunction.
Though, throughout all the stress and fear of scheduling college classes, there is some peace once the schedule is made. Then I can start to plan out how I am going to survive the next semester when I have classes back to back and a bunch of other obligations. It's a roller coaster ride, but hopefully those semesters of scheduling classes will pay off into something bigger later on in my life.