The other day I had gotten out of the car to pump gas. I was in sweatpants, my hair was pulled up (which means it hadn't been washed in a few days) and I was tired and grumpy. I wanted to pump my gas quickly and get home to my couch. A guy pulled up next to me and rolled his window down and said, "Damn sexy what are you doing here?" I was pumping gas. What did it look like I was doing? I didn't know this man. I tried to ignore him and he kept mumbling things I couldn't understand, but I know they were rude and sexual.
I'll admit it — I was freaked out and scared. Obviously ignoring him wasn't working, and I sure didn't know what to say. I didn't know if he was going to follow me back to my apartment or if he was going to let me leave.
Luckily, I just got back into my car and drove off with no problem. However, I didn't even finish filling up my tank because I was so uncomfortable. The saddest part of it all is that this man thought that catcalling and saying rude, sexual things was going to make me like him or who knows what else.
It did the complete opposite.
That brings me to the scariest part about men catcalling women. They think we like it. They think it works.
I've spent a lot of time thinking about this and I've come up with two conclusions as to why some men believe catcalling works:
1. Somewhere at some point, it did work. At some point, somewhere, a woman fell for that. She fell for the disrespecting comments and decided she didn't deserve respect. She taught him that catcalling a woman works and that he can get girls by doing this. Thus, we have gas pump guy belting out disrespecting comments to random girls.
2. Their mother or parental role model is OK with their son disrespecting women. That is such a scary thought. You birthed him. You went through hell and back to get him and now you are letting him walk around disrespecting your gender? Explain yourself. My mom raised two boys and she would freak out if she heard one of my brothers breathe the wrong way in front of a woman, let alone disrespect one.
If we are a mother to a son we can not control the women around him and demand that they have self-respect. As a woman demanding self-respect, we can not control the mothers who do not care how their child treats a lady. But, for the sake of me as well as all other women out there trying to pump their gas in peace, I really hope men learn other ways to impress a woman and get her attention besides catcalling.