On The Brink Of Moving To College, I Pray I've Made The Right Decision

On The Brink Of Moving To College, I Pray I've Made The Right Decision

It's a lot to handle.

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As I'm writing this, I am sitting in a room at the Hotel Indigo, watching "Thor Ragnarok."

My face hurts, my head hurts, and my heart hurts. I have cried no less than five times in the past two days, and I know I'm just going to cry more tomorrow.

I move into my dorm tomorrow and say goodbye to the life I've known for the past 17 years.

Logically, I understand that college is important and that this was bound to happen sooner or later, but part of me wishes I would've stayed closer to home.

It's hard. It's really hard.

At this point in my life, I feel extremely uncertain about what my future holds, and it's tearing me apart. I wish I knew all the answers. Because if I did, I wouldn't be so scared.

I'm scared I won't make any good friends.

I'm scared about being on my own (I'm not even a legal adult yet).

I'm scared about not being a right fit for my program. Or my university.

I'm scared that I'm going to have to try and balance two lives -- one at school, and one at home, and as a result, I'm never going to fit in anywhere.

I've heard the really awesome stories about how college was the best time of someone's life and I've also heard about the times when people had to drop out.

I hope I'm somewhere in the middle.

I've been told that home isn't going anywhere, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

I'm not really sure what to do anymore.

All I know right now is that to quote Leslie Knope, "I sad."

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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I Learned So Much In My First College Semester, Including That No College Experience Is The Same

I could write a book from everything I've learned in the past six months.

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I just have to point out that in true college fashion, this semester in review, if you will, is coming to you a grand month into the new semester. If that isn't the epitome of college, I'm not sure what is.

The first and perhaps the most important thing that the beginning of college has taught me is that you have to let go of expectations. There are a million different stories and opinions coming at you your senior year of high school about what college is like and what you should do once you get there. But the truth is, everyone is different. There is no quintessential college experience because no college lifestyle is superior to any other one.

There are some people who go to every single school spirit/ sporting event that the school has to offer and there are others (like me) who are content with attending a couple games a season and enjoying their Saturday afternoons not melting into the stands of McLane stadium during Waco's stupidly hot fall.

But the point is, you do you. And honestly, it might take you a while to figure out what kind of life you want to have in college. Maybe it requires a few all-nighters and poor choices before you decide the things you like, the crowd you want to run in, and what you want to make of your college years.

And speaking of running in crowds, I present to you: friends. They're probably one of the most challenging parts of college. Now your first semester is really designed to get you socializing and making new friends, but you're making them in a way that you never did when you were younger. College requires you to reach out, to push yourself, and to get out of your comfort zone. And having friends doesn't mean you'll spend 24/7 with them. In college, everyone has different priorities which mean you may only get to hang out with certain friends once or twice a week. That doesn't make those friendships invalid, it's just a sign that you're growing up and having less time and more responsibility.

I've always known that being a good friend is important, but college has taught me that it's one of the most important roles you can play in someone's life. College is a time when you're moving away from home, turning a leaf, and trying things out for yourself. It can be lonely, confusing, exhausting, exhilarating. The one thing everyone needs is a friend. People will try to tell you that college is about dating or finding your person or ring by spring but really it's about friends, so do your best to be a good one.

Now there's also the cliche advice about not taking 8 a.m. classes, eating pizza every day in the dining hall, or partying on a Thursday night when you have class in the morning, but all of that stuff seems rather obvious.

If there was one thing I could go back and tell myself about the beginning it would be to relax and let the kinks work themselves out. Nothing is going to be the way you expected and that's ok. Have fun, work hard, and be kind, that's really all you need to know.

Love,

Lilly

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