As I'm writing this, I am sitting in a room at the Hotel Indigo, watching "Thor Ragnarok."
My face hurts, my head hurts, and my heart hurts. I have cried no less than five times in the past two days, and I know I'm just going to cry more tomorrow.
I move into my dorm tomorrow and say goodbye to the life I've known for the past 17 years.
Logically, I understand that college is important and that this was bound to happen sooner or later, but part of me wishes I would've stayed closer to home.
It's hard. It's really hard.
At this point in my life, I feel extremely uncertain about what my future holds, and it's tearing me apart. I wish I knew all the answers. Because if I did, I wouldn't be so scared.
I'm scared I won't make any good friends.
I'm scared about being on my own (I'm not even a legal adult yet).
I'm scared about not being a right fit for my program. Or my university.
I'm scared that I'm going to have to try and balance two lives -- one at school, and one at home, and as a result, I'm never going to fit in anywhere.
I've heard the really awesome stories about how college was the best time of someone's life and I've also heard about the times when people had to drop out.
I hope I'm somewhere in the middle.
I've been told that home isn't going anywhere, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
I'm not really sure what to do anymore.
All I know right now is that to quote Leslie Knope, "I sad."