As I'm sitting here in my living room writing this, I have about two weeks left before I go back to college and classes start for the year. This coming year isn't just any year back at school. It's my senior year. My final year. I'm feeling a lot of emotions and thinking a lot of things. I'm feeling excited, happy, nervous, but mostly scared to death. I know I should be excited that I'm almost done and I should be happy all of my hard work is being reworded. But really though I'm just getting a piece of paper saying this what I did. And eventually I'll actually have to put my skills to the test. I should be relieved that I'm finishing everything (especially on time). But that doesn't mean I'm not worried for everything that comes after graduation.
May is only nine months away. It may seem like a long time, but I can promise you it isn't. It'll fly by before I know it. That's only nine short months to get my life together and I don't know if I can do it. Well OK, so I actually have less time because I should have something for when I graduate, which really only gives me like seven or eight months.
I know you're probably thinking that I'm overreacting or worrying too much. But I'm not. I have every right to worry this much. I have every right to worry about what I am doing when I face the 'real world'. I'm not ready for the paying back student loans, having a real job and living on my own yet. Though I have been honestly dreaming about having a career and being on my own since I was a freshman four years ago. Living on campus is far different than living on my own.
I don't want to grow up just yet, but I know my time is short for that.
I'm scared I won't succeed as much as I did in school when I try for a job or a career. I'm scared I won't get to where I want to be in the future. I'm scared I won't be able to show off my skills or they won't be good enough to succeed. I'm scared for life after college. That's the simplest way to put it.
However, I'm sure everything will work out in the end because it always has a way of doing that. And I do have high hopes for what my future has in store for me. But until something happens, I will worry about all the possibilities that could happen. Though I am scared, I will continue to push for my dreams to come true because I cannot give up. If I give up, how will my dreams ever come true? I may not be ready for the future now, but I am going try my hardest to be prepared, but can anyone really be prepared for life after college?