You may find my heading to be confusing, you may even think I'm insane and that's okay. Many people have the fear of dying. A fear of not knowing what truly happens. Yes, I know there is a theory or "proven" to be a heaven and a hell, but we cannot possibly know this until we are focused upon the reality ourselves. Personally, I am not scared of death. I believe it is what it is going to be and we have no choice over that. But what I am terrified of is what happens when I die.

Although I may not be the most important person to even the common man, I am extraordinarily important to my family and friends. They have a huge impact on my life, as I do on theirs and my death simply won't be an easy thing for some to handle. This is where I have come to become terrified. Not at death itself, but at who has to deal with my death. They unfairness to them, the terrible problems it can possibly cause and worst yet, the pain. It's hard for myself to know that my life ending can cause so much hurt that I cannot comfort or help in any way.

Family and friends are important, but there is more that I fear in the presence of death and ironically, it's doing death-defying events.

I hold a fear of not achieving the true bucket list that I hold. My personal list is not terribly long, but rather terribly expensive. Many things I have come to want to do, or travel to and some include, but are not limited to:

-Skydive

-Backpack all over Europe

-Live in New York City, New York

-Live in LA

-Become fluent in one or more languages

-Take my family on a cruise adventure

-Travel to Australia

-Live in another country

And those are just some of the things I want to achieve in my life.

Another aspect to my life that I am scared to lose is my professional career development and futuristic possibilities. There is a list of accomplishments that I desire to finish before death even turns its head towards me and some of these would include:

-Take my company above and beyond expectations

-Obtain a BBA and MBA in Marketing

-Connect with some of the largest CEO's in the world

-Have continuous companies being developed to serve societies needs

-Change the face of business education

And many other things that I plan to achieve.

In all, I have much to do and many goals to chase and accomplish before anything happens. This is the terrified part of me that speaks, being terrified of the emotional stress on family and friends, being terrified of not living the life I dream and terrified of not achieving my professional life goals. There are many factors that just simply make me unwilling to leave anytime soon.