Everyone knows an angry black woman (ABW) or has heard of the term at the least. An angry black woman is a woman who is so unattractively and unjustifiably emotional that it manifests itself in irrational anger...or so we are brainwashed to believe. You see, the angry black woman narrative is a controlling image. It is utilized to belittle black women’s reactions and make them constantly wary of expressing themselves due to the fear that they might be overreacting. I say that ABW is a controlling image because whether intentionally or subliminally it is used to control black women’s emotions and encourage them to be submissive in their emotional actions.

The ABW stereotype is something that I have struggled with. I was not allowed to be angry. Even if I was wronged I could not express myself as other people were allowed to because my anger was unacceptable. I was forced to believe that my emotions were not of importance and I had to learn to bottle them in. Even if my deliverance was not aggressive, because I was a black girl, I was always seen as intimidating due to my natural mannerisms and in order to make everyone else comfortable I had to always tone it down. Being forced to compartmentalize and bury my emotions for everyone else’s benefit took a toll on my mental state and I have had enough.

Up until very recently, I was afraid of being an ABW because it was such a turn off… until I realized I have so much to be angry about!! Being who I am, seeing what I’ve seen and experiencing what I’ve experienced is enough to make anyone angry. I wrote this piece having been inspired by one of my favorite poems “Angry Black Woman” by one of my favorite poets, Porsha O who beautifully said “As you can see, I am black and a woman and I’m not angry at all. Hell, I’m pissed the f*ck off!” I am taking back this stereotype and I will control it to paint the true image of the ABW. Now let me tell you why I’m pissed the f*ck off.”

1. Black Lives Matter.

I’m mad and quite frankly exasperated. We still have to tell people that our lives matter? Seriously? In 2016? Honestly, I’m mainly mad that black people saying their lives matter make so many people mad. If you want to more about why you should angry too, check out: http://blacklivesmatter.com/

2. Eurocentric beauty standards.

“Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never hurt you”. Well, screw that. I am mad as hell that most societies would think I am ugly! Me! Can you believe that? I am so angry that so many people have been conditioned to really see themselves as ugly because they aren’t fair, tall, thin, with long fine hair. I am angry that even though I am unlearning all of this harmful ideologies, I still struggle heavily with my self-esteem. A few years of learning to love thyself seems to be no match against the years of being told to hate thyself and change thyself. I’m mad that people actually spent so much time breaking down the self-esteem of people of color and that it worked.

3. Our education system.

We are failing the children. We are failing the children of the hood that need education because it is their only way out to the hood. Yes, I have had some wonderful educating but that’s in part because I’ve had some wonderful educators and because academia is something I’m good at. Not everyone has a success story and that seems to be systemically deliberate. There is barely any funding to inner-city schools. Teachers are burnt out. Segregation forces students of color into failing schools like cattle while better-funded schools are only accessible to students who don’t look like them. Inner city schools are structured to turn students into workers and not thinkers. I am mad that No Child Left Behind was so dumb and left so many students behind in the sense that it advanced students who weren’t ready to move up instead of giving them the support they needed to really thrive.

4. Slavery.

Yes, I am still mad about slavery. No one alive is responsible for slavery. I get that. I didn’t experience slavery, neither. I am angry that slavery ever took place but there is nothing that can be done about that. What upsets me is how unapologetic America has been towards individuals who have been impacted by the peculiar institution. Countries nationally make amends with folks who have been wronged by their government and the United States has not done so. Wealthy slave owners received more support than the poor freed individuals who had nothing for themselves but breeches and a piece of corn. Not only have African Americans never received the reparations they deserve but their experiences have been all but forgotten. It is absolutely amazing to me how benign slavery is painted in common curriculum. It angers me that people do not understand the plight that many African Americans face currently is a direct and deliberate consequence of slavery.

5. The Native Americans.

This might be a controversial thing for me to say but I genuinely feel the Native Americans have had it way worse in the united states than any other group of color. When we look at what they have experienced it is truly heartbreaking. They have experienced a genocide on their very own land. The U.S. has forced them into unimaginable poverty and they are facing a number of dangerous health epidemics. Their education system is destroyed and they have little to no political support. People can still go up to a reservation, rape and murder Native women and no one will say a thing. The sad thing is, many people think Native Americans have vanished – but they haven’t. They are very much active against the injustices they face. A parallel to the Native Americans, would be black people, but we have visibility. The Civil Rights movement, Black Lives Matter, Barack Obama – people know about us. How many people know about the American Indians Movement that has been active since the 1968? On top of all of that, at the end of the day, our roots don’t begin in America. Black people have Africa, the Caribbean Islands, the West Indies – places that we can go to. Native Americans are indigenous to this land. They created this country and they have faced the greatest backlash.

6. Society seems to hate women.

Honestly, I’m just as exasperated by this as I am with people not getting why black lives matter. You can’t just rape women because you want to!! And, why do these men keep getting away with it? We’re still slut-shaming too? As much vulgar and repulsive things men say and do, we’re still shaming women for want to be sexy and sexual? We still aren’t paid correctly. We still have to fight to have control over own uterus! Trans women are assaulted for merely being! Women and girls go missing, are being sold into sex-trafficking, raped and brutalized and it’s swept under the rug. It’s as though the world we birthed is intentionally trying to kill us off.

7. I am not allowed to be angry.

Like I mentioned earlier, society does not allow me to be angry. There is so much that I have a right to be angry about but I am not allowed to do so because I am woman and I am black. I am expected to be patient and compassionate when someone does something wrong and, with utmost graciousness, I am supposed to try to teach these individuals how not to be dummies. I am expected to have moderate reactions and to never openly express how I feel. Everyone can blatantly attack black women but we can’t snap back at them or everything we say is negated and that seriously pisses me off. We will be deemed ratchet, ghetto, intimidating and no one would hear the message we are trying to convey.

Nevertheless, I am not going to allow the fear of being labeled an Angry Black Woman stop be from reacting. My anger is my truth. I have a right to be angry. I am being attacked, my people are being attacked, the world is in shambles. I have a right to my anger. For my sisters – so do you. Don’t be afraid of being labeled an emotional white girl or a crazy Latina. Your emotions are valid. Like Queen Audre Lorde wrote in "The Uses of Anger: Women Responding to Racism," "Every woman has a well-stocked arsenal of anger potentially useful against those oppressions, personal and institutional which brought that anger into being. Focused with precision it can become a powerful source of energy serving progress and change." Our anger is valid. Let’s be proactive in transforming the things that make us justifiably angry through unity and action!