I've been through hell and back with my mental health.
As always, there are high moments and there are low moments. When I'm good, I'm great. But when I'm struggling, things are impossible. Getting out of bed is a major struggle, and I can't seem to get myself to feel better.
Believe me, I want to feel better. I don't like feeling out of control or like I have weights strapped to me with everything I do.
I know I'm not the only one who has felt like this. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 18.1 percent of Americans are affected by depression every year.
Almost a fifth of our country feels the same exact way every year.
I wish someone had told me this when I was at my low points: It's OK to feel bad.
The low points are a part of life. Since experiencing them in the worst way, I work really hard to avoid behaviors that lead to them. I try to get out of relationships that have brought me to them. I hate feeling that way, but I know that they're going to happen no matter what.
Eventually, things go south. We can't avoid the storms in our lives, but we can work to get out of them as soon as we can.
In today's culture, being sad or feeling badly is romanticized. Every time I log onto Twitter or Instagram, I always see memes or jokes about depression and anxiety. I'll admit, sometimes they are funny.
But, then I take a step back and realize how awful it is to laugh at stuff like that.
I'll admit, I look back on behaviors and things that I did during my low points and laugh. I'm a firm believer in comedy as a way to deal with tragedies and difficult times.
It's OK to laugh at yourself and realize why things you do or have done are toxic behaviors. But avoid using it as a comfort and a way to identify yourself.
Anxiety and depression are things that happen to us. They shouldn't be parts of our personality.
It's almost addicting when you feel badly to identify with other people and to find comfort in the darkness. Since coming out of a dark place and into one that's healthy, I see that I was relying on my dark feelings when I no longer knew who I was.