To Love Someone Well, You Will Need To Sacrifice A Part Of Yourself

To Love Someone Well, You Will Need To Sacrifice A Part Of Yourself

Fighting doesn't have to be a bad thing when you know how to do it well.
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Fights. We all have them, whether it's with our significant other, a friend, or our parents. We argue, we scream, and sometimes, we throw a remote or two. But one thing remains constant with these fights: we love the person we're fighting with.

In my lifetime, I've had my fair share of fights, especially with my mother. Even at a young age, we were very alike in many ways. From preferring to walk around barefoot instead of wearing socks (even when it's terribly cold in the midst of a New Jersey winter) to getting annoyed by people who don't abide by the use of blinkers when turning, we were (still are) incredibly similar and best friends.

My mom is the person I can count on at all times. Even though I am over a thousand miles away from home, she's my first call when something goes wrong and even when something goes right. She has a relatively level head – I can't say completely level because at the end of the day, she still is Italian – and she gives the best advice for any situation.

Whenever I got into a fight with someone growing up, I would come running to her afterward to tell her everything the other person said and did. I would list all the mean remarks that were shared against me, but never what I said to the other person. I don't like admitting when I'm wrong to other people, and I especially don't always like the things I say. But the first thing she would say after I talked her ear off about how rude the other person acted was, "What did you say?"

Whenever she would ask me what I did, I would feel betrayed. How could my mother not trust me? Why does she always think I did something wrong, too? No one is on my side! The reality was that she was very much on my side, but she also wanted to make it perfectly clear that no one is flawless.

My mom taught me that in a fight, no one is perfect, but we must try to cater to the person we are fighting with.

Sounds crazy, right? Why and how do we cater to the other person in a fight when they clearly don't care about how we feel?

Well, it's about not doing the things that you know will hurt the other person. I know that with my dad, I need to let him speak and not talk over him; with my mom, I sometimes have to take a breather (because if there's anyone who can frustrate me, it's her); with my boyfriend, it's making sure I don't swear when I get too upset; with my best friend, it's really listening to her (because if there's someone second to frustrating me, it's her).

Knowing what upsets the other person is crucial to disputes. I know when I fight, it's not because I want to, it's because I'm fed up, hurt, or frustrated. I certainly never want to prolong an argument so choosing my words carefully and avoiding the actions that will hurt the other person is most important to me.

Above all, even though you may be pissed as hell at the other person, hurting them is never worth it. Dragging a fight on or making it worse is not going to accomplish anything besides ruining the preservation of the relationship and the trust of the person you love.

I say you need to sacrifice some of who you are because it's true. Although it's sacrificing the bad parts of you – the mean words, the impatience, the selfishness – you're still changing for the other person.

We're always told not to change who we are for someone else, but sometimes it truly is for the better. If you love the other person and you want to become a better, more understanding individual, you need to let a little of yourself go.

I am by no means perfect, but I certainly try for the people I love. I don't always succeed, but I'll go down trying to be the best person I can be for others around me. I know that not everyone can practice grace effortlessly, but working towards that acceptance might be the key to love.

Cover Image Credit: John Schnobrich

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7 Signals A Girl Will Try To Send You If She Likes You As More Than A Friend

Girls do subliminal things to show you her interest in you. Pay attention to these low key signs that she is shooting her shot.

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It is never easy when a girl has to fully admit her feelings to a guy she likes, so instead, she sends slight signals in hopes that he picks up on her hints.

1. She can't stop smiling at you

She is happy to talk to you and to be in your presence, the smallest things that you do make her want to smile. She can't control the happiness inside and it comes out in a great big smile. In her head, she is just thinking about how much she enjoys spending time with you and how much she likes you.

2. She hugs you with both arms

Side hugs are common, easy, and very universal. She wants to give you full body hug because to show you she feels different about you than any other guy. With a full body hug she can rest her face on your chest and this just brings the two of you closer.

3. She makes direct eye contact

Direct eye contact is always a great sign. This means she is fully aware of everything you are saying and she is completely interested.

4. She scans your face and lips

Upon talking to you, she begins to scan your face. In this moment she is appreciating your attractiveness and completely zoned out. Forget you said anything to her because she probably was not listening. If she is looking at your lips then she definitely wants a kiss.

5. She says "Oh my god, stahhhp"

The 'I'm mad at you, but I'm flirting with you' slogan. She is trying to be cute and pick a fight with you so you can two can play around. She's hoping this will lead to cracking jokes

6. She adjusts her clothing

She is fidgety when your around because she has feelings for you and is nervous. She wants to look her best with you around, so she is subconsciously fixing herself so that nothing looks bad.

7. She sends you cute snap chats

Silly, crazy, and just straight up ugly snap chats are for friends. If her selfies are , done each time, then she cares a lot about how you see her and she wants you to see her at her best. She is not always looking for a compliment, but throw one her way and you will make her day.

Pay attention to the signs a girl is sending. Her body language and behavior around all come together for an important message, she likes you! A lot.

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Newsflash! It's Time For Everybody To Love Everybody

Come on, people, get it together.

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I, personally, think it's time for everybody to just start loving each other. Now listen, this doesn't mean you need to actually love everyone, but at least accept them. Acceptance is the closest thing we are gonna get to loving each other.

Let me tell you a little something: politics at the moment are very messy. No matter which side it is, it's messy. There is no denying that. If you try to deny that, then good for you, you're not helping anybody. If you really want some change, you need to start being the bigger person. Change isn't about who can yell about something louder or who has the "better" argument, it's about being respectful.

Just because someone has an opposing view does not mean you need to yell at them. Does yelling solve anything ever? Maybe temporarily, like for 2 minutes, but that's about as long as you're gonna get. There's absolutely no need to indirectly say something about certain individuals on social media. Yes, there is freedom of speech, but everybody should keep in mind why they have that right and why they still have it.

I do not understand why it is so hard to be respectful of one another. If someone goes after another person talking about how absolutely terrible it is of them thinking something should be illegal, the person who's being yelled at should respectfully ignore the other individual's disrespectful remarks. If the individual does not stop, then they are not aware that they are making no difference in the world.

What I'm trying to get at here is that in order to love each other, we really need to accept all our differences. If we really want change we need to go right to the sources, not just yell at each other from across the street. If everyone learned to accept each other, life would be a whole lot easier. Is this ever going to happen? Of course not. This is the solution though, whether you think so or not.

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