I want to preface this letter by saying that I have spent a maximum of two weeks with a roommate, so this is new, and that I picked my roommate because going random is scary as heck and, by the time this letter is published, I will have met her. Without further ado, let’s begin.
Dear Freshman Roommate,
I want to begin by apologizing for how crazy I can be as 3:30 in the morning when I get that second burst of energy. I will probably ask you to film me doing a series of animal impressions or to help me create a rap video from start to finish. I will also probably ask you to go on a milkshake run and will refuse to listen when you tell me that all of the milkshake places are closed. There will probably be times when I beg you to come cartwheeling with me because who doesn’t love cartwheeling? With that being said, I want you to know that, no matter what, you can wake me up and drag me to wherever you want to go. Don’t get me wrong, I will probably protest and may be grumpy, but trust me, in 10 minutes I will be fine.
I hope that you are ready for some serious adventures. We will complete every item on our freshman year bucket list (except maybe finding cute boys who will take us to nice restaurants). If there is a street musician, I will dance and I hope you will join me. If there is a festival, we should at least stop by. There will probably be days where I will be so tired that I want to sleep through the whole day or days where I say that I have to study nonstop, but if there is an adventure that you want to go on, please drag me out of the dorm and make me come.
Next, be ready for boys. I don’t mean boys in our room, although that is not out of the question, I mean me pointing out or sending you pictures of the cute boy I see at Starbucks, or who is in my chemistry class, or who I see from across the room at a party. More than likely, I won’t talk to any of them, but I will still point the out anytime, and I mean anytime, that I see one. I will also happily act as your wing woman. I may not be smooth myself, but I will get you a boy.
Now for a few miscellaneous warnings. I will probably always have clean but unfolded laundry sitting in a hamper in our room. I have a lot of hair and having a lot of hair means that there will be a lot of loose hair all over. You will have a nickname and there is probably no way that you will escape it. If I drive you nuts just throw a pillow at me and tell me to shut up. I am clumsy and I will knock things over or trip on invisible barriers. I do not handle sugar well nor do I handle a lack of sleep well and I will go wild. I will probably tell you too many bad jokes and you will probably not laugh. That is okay, but I know that in the end you will tell one to someone and finally understand how truly magnificent my jokes are. On a similar note, I think I’m absolutely hilarious, so I will laugh at almost anything that I say, so it will take me forever to get through stories. I will also laugh at everything you say, so you’re welcome. Finally, if I find a food that I like I will eat it every day and then will grow tired of it and will never eat it again.
With all quirkiness aside, I am overwhelmingly excited to spend the next year sharing a room with you. I will be there when you need me, and probably even when you do not need me. For all of the times we get annoyed with each other I’m sure that there will be far and away more times that we will stay up talking until 5 AM or laughing until we swear that we’ve grown abs, or trying something that we swore we would never do but always secretly wanted to do anyway. I can’t wait to laugh with you and to cry with you, to sweat with you and to strain my eyes in the library the night before finals with you. Most of all, I can’t wait to know you.
With all my love,
Your Roommate
P.S. I hate vomit, but I will try my best when needed.