As I sit at my desk writing this, my two roommates, Autumn and Genie*, have rushed into the room, changed their clothes, put on makeup, and left for a “dayger.” After living with them for eight days now, I have learned this is a normal occurrence. My roommates have been out till midnight every night but one since we all moved in last Thursday. Disclaimer: I have no problem at all with partying, or the people who do it; I’m just not one of those people. Therein lies the problem: my decision to avoid parties has ostracized me from my roommates.

Originally, coming into college as a freshman living in the dorms, I thought I would be a “party girl.” Unfortunately, my perception of college parties came solely from movies and books I’ve read. Both of my parents didn’t live in the dorms so I was going in pretty blind. I grew up a “good girl:” I’ve never drank or smoked. I’m from a small town where the party scene was small and exclusive to those who had parents who regularly left their mansions empty because of work. My idea of a party was liters of soda, some pizza, and Cards Against Humanity. I came to SDSU knowing it was a “party school,” but I really had no idea what that entailed until I experienced it vicariously through my Autumn and Genie. Pre-mixed drinks, invitation text required, girls only, hopping from house to house - nothing at all what I expected. I actually ventured out, without my roommates, for the first time last night. I was back in my dorm by midnight, having been turned away from every frat my group and I tried to get into.

The first night after we moved in, Autumn and Genie already had a list of frat houses they wanted to hit that night. I was still trying to figure out how to work the dorm elevator. They went “zero to sixty” that night, and I just wasn’t ready. When we all woke up the next morning, their relationship was cemented and I had become my worst nightmare: the third wheel. Ever since that night, I’ve tried to connect with my roommates - but apparently my inexperience was a deal breaker for them. We live together so interaction is inevitable, but I am always left feeling like an outsider looking in. The first couple days were much rougher than I expected. I like to think of myself as a social person who makes friends easily, but Autumn and Genie seem to be an exception. My assumption that I would immediately hit it off with them and become lifelong friends quickly proved to be false.

Eight days in to college life and I’m basically in the same spot I was that first night: alone, in my room. But luckily, with an awesome support system comprised of my family, friends, and surprisingly, one of my RAs, I’ve come to terms with my situation. I’m a different person than my roommates, and that’s perfectly fine. So this is a shoutout, to everyone who doesn’t jive with their roommates: it’s actually not the end of the world. I didn’t come to this conclusion on my own - I was ready to move out by day three. Now I realize your relationship with your roommates is not a reflection on you as a person.

So I leave you with this, my one piece of advice: get out of your dorm. Trust me, I know it’s easier said than done. Go to the Aztec nights; they are definitely hit or miss, but if you don’t go there’s no way to know. Go and hang out for fifteen minutes - you might meet some new people or , like me, come back fifteen minutes later with a snow cone in your hand, and tell your RA, “Hey, I tried it, but it was honestly pretty lame.” Dorm events are also a thing - find them posted on a bulletin board somewhere. It might not be the most exciting night of your life, but remember -you probably have nothing better to do.

I’ve learned the hard way: college is what you make it. You aren’t going to be handed the token college experience on a silver platter.

*names changed for privacy