So I am perpetually single, as you all know. I have been single for most of my life. It’s a mystery how I could be single, I agree. But instead of wallowing in my pain another year, I decided to do the smart thing and turn Valentine’s Day into Galentine’s Day, like they do in the fabulous Parks and Recreation. That’s why, this year, I will be taking my roommate out for Valentine’s Day. Here are 5 reasons why you should do the same.

1. She's freaking awesome.

Enough said.

2. Romance is dead.

Why bother with the bullshit of romance and the constant stress of dating? People don’t hold the door for you or insist on paying anymore. And let me tell you, I for one ain’t got time for bad dates with scrubs. I’ve had enough of that. I’d rather spend time with a good friend than do that again.

3. You deserve a gal’s day.

You both work hard. You have a job, you have school, you have extracurricular activities. In other words, treat yourself.

4. Hakuna Matata.

Don’t worry. Will your date kiss you, will they want to take you out again — all that worrying is taken out when you spend Valentine’s Day with your roommate.

5. Your girl’s always going to be there for you.

Hoes before bros. Sisters before misters. Witches before wizards. Chicks before dicks. Take your pick. Lovers will come and go, but your friend is forever.

6. She already knows you.

You don’t have to hold in that belch around your roommate or be afraid to share your political views. In fact, please talk about Nancy Pelosi’s filibuster or Donald Trump’s immigration reform. We need to talk about hard-hitting issues in this country. You can be you around your roommate because she accepts you. If only all dates were as comfortable as the Galentine’s Day you would have with your roommate.

I know what you’re thinking: “Won’t it be weird going out with my roommate on the most romantic day of the year?”

To which I reply: Hell no! It’s totally fine to go have dinner with your roommate on Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is capitalist garbage anyway, so have fun with it. Buy your roommate a card and go to a nice restaurant. Or go get pedicures that are Valentine’s Day themed. My roommate and I are going to SoBro in Broad Ripple and possibly going to Fifty Shades Freed because we’re those bitches.

My roommate just informed me she isn’t paying money to see Fifty Shades Freed. IDGAF, I’m going.

Which brings me to another point—if you don’t have a roommate or a significant other, take yourself out. Go on an actual date with yourself. Then watch Fifty Shades with me.