Trying to write is hard. Coming up with original thoughts and layouts and doodles. It's hard. And it's really hard to pretend we have a grasp on our thoughts enough to document them. I'm a writer by nature, but up until now, I have been doodling and jotting down bull that sometimes gets a lot of shares on the internet. The problem lies within the fact that I have absolutely no idea who I am. Hard to believe, I know, because it seems like most 19 year old kids are pretty sure of themselves today.
The problem with not knowing who you are is that you cannot decide anything for yourself. We float around, seeking advice from people who also don’t know what the heck is going on in life, and we end up messing things up for ourselves in the long run. Being unsure of things is perfectly acceptable, and happens to even the most confident individuals, but being lost inside yourself creates more problems.
It seems like lately I have been stuck in a rut. Originally, I was complacent with not knowing who I was. I was doing things that seemingly made me happy. Then I realized that everything in my life was a bit lack-luster if you will. Hanging out seemed like a chore, because associating with people requires a personality. Classes seemed even more mundane than usual and I wasn’t learning anything. I was only trying to make the grade. I had given up on several art projects I had started earlier in the year. I wasn’t feeling myself anymore.
I finally realized that I wasn’t much fun to be around. Usually, I can sing you the lyrics to any song you throw at me, from 80s hair band to Beyonce, but now I was finding it hard to even make myself a playlist of good music. I had lost my sense of self completely. When you stop having motivation to do things you love, it may be time to take a journey to rediscover yourself. It is extremely important to have a strong sense of self so you don’t lose yourself in a sea of thoughts and opinions you are practically already drowning in. Take the time to explore your thoughts and feelings and dreams. And it is also important to accept that your beliefs and goals may have changed along the way. If you convince yourself that the things you believe right at this second can never change in the future, you will be stuck being unsure of yourself and no longer passionate for the rest of your life. Overall, it is important to find yourself. Once you are sure of you, your happiness and dreams will come more easily.