I have spent a lot of time on my own this year.
I specificaly remember my 20th birthday last November and will never forget it. I knew I was taking off for Scotland soon and I remember blowing out my candles and thinking, this is going to be the best year of my life. I can confidently say that this year of being 20 has not been dull, it has been life altering.
The definition of unafraid means; feeling no fear or anxiety.
Since the start of January to as I am currently typing this, I have had the most anxiety and the most fear I have ever felt in my entire life. Good fear, yes. Bad fear? Yes, as well.
I moved to Scotland in search of exploring a new english speaking country and went into the experience with little to no expectations. I knew studying abroad was something I had always wanted to do and I was looking forward to venturing on my own and seeing the world from a "20" year olds eyes. While everyone goes through family trouble and personal heartbreak, I had to deal with two of the largest personal matters across the world and alone and I think that brought lots of self awarness and independence to my life that I was unaware I could handle on my own. Shortly after, I was told I was moving to New York City. Yes, a dream, but also brought on anxiety. I was so nervous for my dream job to really be coming true.
So, to tie this in, you might be going through similar things. I feel this age between 20-24 is stressful. Working hard at school, trying to find a passion, holding on to relationships, staying in touch with old friends and new friends...its all hard. I serisouly wish I had a guide book to show me how to do this all. I keep saying I've been alone and I'm not. I have support but I feel in your 20's you have to be a certain type of alone and independent to work on your self-worth to get you through this crazy time.
When everything seems to be blowing up and causing stress, over the past 6 months I have handled situations very differently and some not well. I keep being told to rise to my greatest standard and I feel that is the best and worst advice all wrapped into one. You're right. I want to work towards being the best me, being healthy, being happy, and being kind. But, it's also near impossible to say that I even know what the best me looks like. I know what the happy me looks like and what the strong version of me is but I can confidently say, I will never be perfect and I have learned that is the way you should always think.
Is it okay to rise in situations and be afraid? Of course. I would say the past 6 months I have been afraid, in a great way. I have been afraid but rising to become the person I want to be. Or, just rising in situations that I have never been in. Like traveling in a different speaking country alone or dealing with personal heartbreak across the world. It's all scary but it's all doable if you can pray to something you believe in and dedicate time to yourself to find daily happiness.
How do we rise unafraid?
This is a new term for me to rise up and to rise unafraid. In daily life, daily confilict, daily self discovery, we are anxious and scared and humiliated. Staying scared and hiding behind yourself will NEVER fix any issue...trust me. It will never help your path of growth if you stay scared and see yourself as a weakness. I have taken my time in NYC and my personal hardships that I started off with here, as a weakness. But, like everyone says, at your weakest is the best time to rise up and grow. I am rising unafraid of my own fears. My fears of being alone, not loved, out late in the dark at night, whatever it may be. I am rising to finally put myself first.
I think that's what I should've wished for on my 20th birthday. "Be proud of the path to finding the you, YOU want to be." Put yourself first. This is the only life you have to complete that gift. It is scary.
But rise unafraid.