Ring By Spring? Not For Me

Ring By Spring? Not For Me

*Opens Facebook* *Sees engagement announcement*

What’s that old saying? “Always the bridesmaid but never the bride” or something along those lines.

Yeah. That’s my entire mood when I open Facebook or Instagram and scroll just to see post after post about another couple putting a ring on it.

Last week, as I sat in my bed with my bowl of pasta, I opened my laptop to check social media. What I saw came as a surprise but honestly, in hindsight, I saw it coming. I saw four separate couples post pictures with captions like “I said yes” or “so excited to marry my best friend!” And then the picture would be of them looking in love with the lucky girl proudly throwing her hand into the camera to show off her fancy, new rock. Scroll a bit more to see the 276 reactions the picture got and the 74 comments of people congratulating the couple. The point is, the older I get, the more engagement announcements I’m beginning to see.

I think this a sure sign that I’m officially an adult and that I’m only going to get older. Soon enough, the wedding album will drop on Facebook and then there will be baby announcements. Honestly, if I had a dollar for every engagement announcement that I saw in the past year and a half, I’d have enough money to pay for a month’s worth of rent.

If I learned anything after turning 20 it’s this: once you hit your 20s, start expecting your peers and friends to find a person, date them and then get engaged. It moves kind of quickly, to be perfectly frank. I saw one guy post their engagement to his girlfriend and all I could think of was, “dang...this kid who stuck a crayon up his nose is getting MARRIED?!”

Sometimes I feel like maybe I’m not doing something right. A lot of my friends are in serious relationships and will also probably be tying the knot in the next three years. Me? I’ve been single for four years and honestly, I’m just trying to graduate college on time! The more people who got into relationships, the more I felt that maybe I’m just not datable. After all, no guys would ever try to flirt with me when I went out. They would all be more interested in my friends. But then again, I never been one to really go out of my way to flirt with a guy when I was out with friends.

At first, I was a bit bitter towards the couples that would get engaged young. Why would you go and try to rush when you have your whole life to live?? But now I understand that sometimes you just know that you found your person and that you just want to start your lives together as soon as possible. I hope that one day that I’ll be able to find someone that I can take a picture with to post on every form of social media, announcing that I, too, have found my person.

Cover Image Credit: Shawn Brandow / Flickr

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You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress

You had him in high school, but I get him for the rest of my life.

High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it. You think that all of your friends will be with you until the end, and that you will end up with whoever you are dating your senior year. For very few, that might just be the case. For all others, that is far from true.

You thought that you would marry your boyfriend and you thought that everything would work out how you had always imagined. I don't blame you though. He's great. You wanted everything with him, but you were just not right for him.

I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I can't. I can't because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever. You didn't do that right, and you were not meant to be together. You will find someone too, but I am happy that you were not the one for him.

Sometimes I have issues with jealousy, and I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him. You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn't be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly. I would have done it out of love, not as a popularity appearance.

I hate that you got to go to all of the school dances with him. He got to see you all dressed up and probably told you how great you looked. I'm sure you did look great. Prom dresses were always fun to pick out and so colorful. It was exciting to match colors with your date. I am sure you had fun choosing his matching tux to your dress.

I find myself getting jealous, but then I stop. I am getting to match his tux with our wedding colors. I got to go dress shopping in a sea of white, and he doesn't get to know one detail about that dress yet. He will get to see me walk down the aisle and then every day forever. I get to love him forever.

I try to not get jealous of all of the things you got with him because it is all in the past. You had your time, and now I get the wedding. You got to dress up in high school, but I get to dress up for my wedding with him. He may have put a corsage on your wrist, but he will be putting the wedding ring on my finger.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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To Whomever It May Concern; It's Time To Forgive Yourself

Personal growth is cultivated through successes and mistakes, beating yourself up over the latter is counterproductive to progress.


We've reached that point in time again where it seems that the general population in its entirety has recommitted to improving themselves with the start of a new year. While it's refreshing to have a renewed determination to eat better, be kinder, or achieve the goals you had attempted at last year, the beginning of a new year can also prove to be a source of anxiety. As many sit down to put their goals on paper in hopes of making them more attainable, it's all too easy to be bombarded by all of the reasons that ones' ambitions are beyond what that person is capable of.

Memories of past short-comings and words of self-deprecation uttered in moments of perceived failure are compounded by a general fear of the unknown for what the future holds. In my own experience, I've come to understand that the limits we place on our capacity for achievement, happiness, and growth are the direct results of not forgiving ourselves. So many goals are set with the intent to receive some form of external validation to indicate that the world has forgiven our flaws and deemed us worthy, but if we can't forgive ourselves and see our own worth, then how can we possibly expect anyone else to?

In the safety and comfort of your own imagination where you are free to envision your best self, living the life you have always hoped for, the only person that can condemn those ideas for being unrealistic is you. When we allow that sardonic voice from the back of our minds to inhibit our dreams, we permit that voice to embed itself in our conscious thoughts and put trust in our inadequacies rather than our capabilities.

For those who have yet to forgive themselves of their own trespasses, failures, and mistakes; the next time you have the thought to better yourself or your life and find it being attacked by memories of deficiency, do not concede to those assailants with the belief that you are incapable of becoming and achieving anything you choose. Instead of willing away those thoughts that remind us of what we are trying to grow from, face them, face your old self with forgiveness, and decide how you're going to become someone better because of who you were.

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