I recently came across an article with the headline "Why I (A Girl) Am OK With Sexism." And of course, with a headline like that, I had to read it, because ... What? You can read it here, and I'd suggest that you do.

After I read this article, I was frustrated. Not angry, as I expected to be after reading an article with a headline like that. I was frustrated because while this writer made some valid points, she missed the point. Let me explain.

The main argument in her article (from what I could tell) was that she was okay with the fact that sexism existed, because being told that she couldn't do something pushed her to work even harder to accomplish her goals, and made her achievement even more impressive. And that makes sense. I totally understand why someone would feel like that. It's pretty damn exciting to overcome something that you were told you can't do. It makes you feel powerful and proud. But does that mean that we should be okay with sexism?

No.

See the problem with this article is that this writer only considered herself and her own experiences. Let's break down the article.

First of all, writer, thank you for your first paragraph. You're right — with a headline like that your clarification that you don't condone abuse or lawful discrimination of women was needed. I'm glad that you set that straight and I'm glad that you respect women in this way.

However, for the rest of your article, there's a lot of things that I take issues with.

I don't think you understand the point of the phrase "fight like a girl." If someone tells you to "fight like a man," I think you should politely tell him or her that they are being offensive and misogynistic. Language is a powerful tool used to oppress people of every minority, and if you can make one person reconsider the linguistic choices they're making, that could make a difference. It's a start. So call this "punk" out on his misogynistic language, and then, yes, fight like hell.

There are many other things that I could argue with you about, but I want to focus on my main concern with what you've said. Through your language and your examples, you've shown your narrow focus on yourself.

It's not wrong to think about yourself. You should be proud of yourself. You're a 16-year-old with the confidence to share your voice on controversial issues, and you want to be an environmental engineer when you grow up. That's impressive. I'm happy that you've gotten so many opportunities in your life. I'm proud of you for knocking down barriers and proving people wrong. Keep doing that.

You explained that "in my 16 years of experience of being a girl, I have never once been unable to do something because of my gender. I have been told I can’t do it. I have been told I shouldn’t do it. I have been told I probably won’t be able to do it. However, as I’m sure you can guess, I did it anyway." However, while you're doing this, remember that this sexism that motivates you so strongly affects women worldwide, and not all in the same way.

It's like the classic debate over coaching methods. What's better, a coach that yells at his team and tells them that they're not good enough, or a coach that positively compliments and cheers on his players? The answer is neither. Or both. You see, each of these coaches will motivate some players and fall flat with others, because people are motivated in different ways. So while you might thrive off of sexist assholes telling you you're not good enough, other women cannot find any motivation in that. It doesn't mean they're weak or lazy or any worse than you. It just means they are motivated through different methods. Please consider all women when you make a claim about sexism.

You claim that you have been told countless times that you can't do something because you're a girl. I think all of us girls have, in one way or another. But have you ever legitimately been unable to do something because you're a girl? It seems not. And part of this, yes, is because you work hard. But another part, a big part, is that you have the resources and the opportunities to make overcoming sexism a possibility. Some women and girls work just as hard as you, fight just as hard as you, and put the same amount of time and effort and drive into achieving their dreams, but can't. Because at the end of the day, the system is still in many ways against us. While you probably can, and I hope you do, achieve your dream of becoming an environmental engineer, there are women in Afghanistan who may have the same dream, but no hope of achieving it. Heck, there are tons of women in the United States that have no hope of achieving anything near what you can achieve. Not because they don't work hard enough, but because the opportunities that you have that will help you succeed are unimaginable for many other women: women who live in poverty, women with parents who will not allow their daughters to go to college, women who because of a lack of birth control and no financial support from their families or their child's fathers are forced to take on the role of a mother rather than chase after their dreams. You will meet many women in your life with barriers that can't be broken by a little motivation. When you say that sexism motivates women to work harder, please keep in mind the women worldwide who deal with sexism.

You state that "sexism has created this false sense that women aren't able to do something, and when we prove we can, it goes viral. No one wants to admit it, but being praised and celebrated for doing something the world never thought you could, even if the reason for that was your gender, feel pretty great." You're right. It does feel pretty great. But I don't want it to. Your cover photo for this article says "I am more than my gender," but that last quote implied that you don't really want to be. By accepting the kind of praise you mention in that quote, you are saying that it is okay for people to say "I'm so impressed that you're a female engineer," rather than "I'm so impressed that you're a talented engineer." Do you really want your gender to outshine your ability?

You say that "girls love a challenge." I'd correct that to say "some girls love a challenge." Because some don't. Some girls just want to be treated like an equal. Some girls want their hard work, drive, and talent to be applauded - not their gender. Some girls don't want to a gender handicap, they want to be held to the same standards as men.

So writer, thank you for your article. I'm glad that you haven't had to face the worst that sexism has to offer, and I hope that you never have to. I'm proud of you for overcoming the sexism that you have encounter, and I hope you keep fighting. I encourage you to keep sharing your voice - just please remember that when you put your voice out into the world, you speak for more than just yourself.