Dear Keely Christine Messino,
I recently was shown your article My Black Goodbye, and to be honest I was instantly filled with so many emotions that the only way I knew how to process through what I was thinking was by writing it down. So that's what this letter to you will be; my personal response to your goodbye.
My name is Madison Lee Woodruff, but everyone knows me as Maddie or Mads. On May 24, 2017, I celebrated two major things: my niece was born and it was my one year with the Odyssey. In the year I have been a part of the Odyssey, I have moved up from a content creator, to an editor, to the Vice President of The Odyssey Online at SVSU. I have been through different Editors in Chief, managing editors, and so many content creators. I have watched all of these different individuals join the Odyssey for their own personal reasons, each with a unique background and stories to share. And although not all of them have stayed, I know that each of them was brought to the Odyssey for a reason and each of them have somehow impacted my team and my own personal life.
In your letter, you spoke about how the Odyssey has become much more focused on views and on incentives, and you're right. Quite frankly my team recently lost a great member of our team because her incentive wasn't accurate and she felt cheated. I can't lie and say I wasn't hurt and angry when I read her message about why she had decided to leave the Odyssey, but I also can understand that each person needs to do what is best for them, and for my friend, she needed to step away. But I also can't understand why some people are letting incentives of money effect whether or not they continue being a part of an organization that has changed my life in ways I will never be able to express.
You shared with your readers that you are "an artist", "writing isn’t about money and isn’t about success", "I won’t spend the time I have on this planet filling another person's pockets ", and finally, " I'd rather put a real smile on someone's face. You can continue to enjoy your cat videos and nonsense articles about what every girl loves about summer fashion. " But here's my question for you. As an "artist", who are you to judge what another person writes? And why the hell do you care if someone is putting out articles full of cat videos or nonsense articles about summer fashion? I joined the Odyssey because I had something to say, and I'd like to think that is why you joined in the first place as well. So why are you bothered by what other people are writing and not focusing on your own words?
I also suffer from anxiety and depression, and while the Odyssey may not have made you feel like you either were or were among "artists" let me tell you what it has made me feel.
In middle school, I felt the weight of anxiety and depression for the first time. And in eighth grade, I ran broken glass across my wrists for the first time.
In high school, I felt the cruelty of teenage girls, the pressure to fit in, and the feeling that I would never be good enough.
Up until the night before my senior year of college started, I thought I had my life figured out. Then I felt the heartbreak of the ending of a six-year relationship ending and realized I had absolutely no idea who I was or what I wanted in my life.
But then the Odyssey saved me.
The Odyssey showed me that I have a voice that deserves to be heard.
I like so many others have a hard time expressing what I'm feeling out loud. I would always put others before myself and didn't think anyone would care about what I had to say. Before joining, I was filled with so much anger, hurt, confusion, brokenness, all of these emotions and no idea how to let them out. The Odyssey gave me a chance to say whatever was on my mind and showed me that there are other people out there who feel the way I do. The Odyssey gave me the courage to stand up for what I believe in. It has given me the opportunity to talk about my heartbreak, friendships, new loves, my mental health, and the ability to advocate for all of those suffering from a mental illness.
The Odyssey has introduced me to lifelong friendships.
I met my best friend because of the Odyssey. Without this organization, I never would have met the person who has random dance parties with me, or who doesn't judge me if I drink an entire bottle of wine without a glass or the person who always has my back and makes sure to tell me she loves me every day before we go our separate ways. Without her, I would probably still be dealing with my problems at the bottom of a bottle of Jameson instead of the couch in our apartment cuddling a cat named R2.
Because of the Odyssey, I know I'm making a difference.
Maybe some weeks my article will only be read by 10 people, one of which will be my mom. But you know what, I don't care because that means there were still 9 other people out there who decided to read what I had to say. It doesn't matter if there is now an incentive system to promote more page views. It doesn't matter if I have a managing editor trying to make sure my article gets so many shares every week. Hell, I haven't even looked at the incentive sheet because I don't care about the money. I don't care if my article doesn't go viral. Sure, I would love to receive a text from my managing editor one day saying "Maddie, your article has gone viral!", but that isn't why I started writing.
I started writing because once upon a time I sat in my childhood room drying blood off my wrists and tears off my face trying to think of a single reason not to end my life. To be lying in my bed filled with regret of something I did while I was drunk because I couldn't handle my own issues. Because I know what it feels like to feel so many things at a time and not having any idea how to deal with any of it. And because I know what it feels like to think no one out in the world has any idea what it feels like to be completely alone, feeling like no one would care if I was alive or not. I write for the Odyssey so that 15-year-old girl sitting in her room knows that she isn't alone. Or because I know that sometimes we just need a nonsense article about summer fashion because I can't handle anything serious in that moment.
So Miss Messino in a long, drawn out article from a fellow college student struggling with anxiety and depression trying to make a difference in the world, we were lucky to have you as part of our Odyssey family. But even though you let incentives and politics push you away from a platform of fellow writers, I refuse to let it push me away. I'm going to continue writing articles that mean something to me in hope that even one person reads my words. And maybe for fun one day, I'll even write one about cats just for you.
Best wishes,
Madison Lee Woodruff