I recently read an Odyssey article that encouraged women and men to "Date Someone Who Treats You Like ****". I read it thoroughly, so sure that there was an underlying message that would unfold into an "Oh, I get it" moment.

The author writes,

"Find someone who never texts you back and always lets you initiate plans and never makes an effort. Find someone who belittles you and makes you question their feelings because they can never be bothered to take two seconds to tell you. Find someone who uses you and who makes you feel disposable and who can never seem to be there when you actually need them. Be with someone who doesn’t care about your needs, your wants, your ambitions, your thoughts. Find someone who never asks about your family and disappoints you repeatedly and never says they’re sorry. Find someone who doesn’t care about you.

Find someone who treats you like shit.

And then date them. Fall for them. Go blind to their behavior. Make excuses for them and justify why you’re the only one who gets them, who knows who they really are. Pretend like everything is fine and convince yourself it is. Convince yourself that you can change them, that you are the only person who understands them and why they are the way they are. Believe that if you stick around, they will change and they will love you even more for always being there when they weren’t the person you needed them to be ... Because when you date someone who treats you like shit, you’ll realize how you ACTUALLY want to be treated."

I understand that this is an opinion and that coming out of those types of relationships can give someone a clearer picture of what they do deserve and want. But, no, I do not get it. Why would you intentionally date someone who does not care about you, does not value your priceless worth, who uses and abuses your body? Why would you intentionally date someone when you know you will leave hurt, torn, broken, confused, abused, emotionally unstable, and swamped in guilt for your supposed shortcomings? Simply saying that you'll realize your worth and that you'll be stronger after the fact is not a valid argument. We were not born to desire less. We were not taught to choose what is unhealthy and destructive. Do not choose less -- not when your worth, strength, beauty, compassion, and heart is already recognized in Christ.

Don't yawn at me for bringing up Jesus. I think it's imperative that you keep reading. Jesus calls you beloved, holy, precious, honored, and chosen. He gave His life when we blasphemed His name and mocked His glory. He was whipped and bled out on a splintered cross for you -- despite the fact that we are TRULY unworthy of such grace, mercy, and undefinable love. He gave us His Holy Spirit to guide us into His righteous plan. He blesses us and teaches us; He is King of Kings, Ruler of the Universe, and Righteous Judge, but invites us to call Him Friend, Counselor, Helper, and Father. My friends, this Savior that died in our place lets us call Him Father. Please do not become numb to this overwhelming love that redeems you. Do no become so numb that you slip and fall, and you let yourself believe you deserve to stay on the ground choosing to be picked someone who will "treat you like ****." It is so important to know that you do notneed to date someone who treats you less than you are today. I do understand what this author is saying, but brothers and sisters in Christ -- even those that are unbelievers or agnostic -- do not date someone who does not recognize your worth. Do not choose to date someone who will devalue you and make you question your value and what you deserve.

If you've been there -- if you are there -- I hope that you run to Jesus who, like a Father, only wants to mend your broken heart and heal your misunderstandings about your worth and what you ultimately deserve. I hope that you rest in His arms who, like a Father, offer protection and safety. I hope that you let Him hold your heart so that He can not just dust it off, but will give you His own so you may abide in Him and He in you.

My brothers and sisters, my friends and my classmates, you are worth much more than being treated like ****.

"... you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you..." Isaiah 43:4.