Response to Cosmo's "Things You Should Never Wear After College" Article

Response to Cosmo's "Things You Should Never Wear After College" Article

Why do people still feel the need to tell women what to wear and when to wear it?
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As an avid user of the Snapchat "explore" page and even more so the Cosmopolitan section, I am no stranger to the types of articles I will come across. With everything from the latest trends in organic vegetables to 75 sex tips that'll spice up your summer, no topic is sacred to Cosmopolitan. Oddly enough, I admire this about the magazine. They aren't afraid to brace the topics that most people want to talk about but are too worried about being politically correct to do so. They have, however, had many controversial articles in the past, and have been criticized for a lot. As a writer myself, I understand just how hard it is to please everyone. I also know that it is said that if your articles spark controversy or response, that you are "doing something right". However, I do not see anything "right" with Cosmo's recent Snapchat article titled "10 Things You Should Never Wear After College," and here’s why.

Sorority Letters

I can’t speak on behalf of sorority members because I am not apart of one, but I am proud of the clubs and associations I am apart of. I don’t see why it is wrong to continue to be proud of the things you have been apart of after you graduate. I also know that sororities are notorious for their belief in life-long membership. It doesn’t end when college does. Keep wearing your letters!

Monograms

While practical, monogramming does not exclusively serve the purpose of being able to tell your stuff apart from the other girls in your dorm. Monogramming goes back years and years and did not start with college girls differentiating their stuff from others. And, even if that was the reason you got your bag or towels monogrammed, it still serves a purpose after dorm life. Just because you moved out of a building with 100 other girls doesn’t mean your stuff wont occasionally get mixed up with another persons. Also, monograms are pretty. Keep embroidering.

Wristlets

What’s the big deal about what you keep your stuff in as long as it serves the purpose of holding your stuff? Cosmo identifies the “wrist strap” as “looking cheap” however I have wristlets that cost more than other “substantial” (as they’d say) bags that I own. As long as it holds my ID, phone and money, the things that keep me safe, I don’t see why the shape/size/strap matters.

PJ Pants/Giant Hoodies/Graphic T-Shirts

Okay, comfort and style are not mutually exclusive; they’ve got me there. However, the author left out that having a job and still being a human being are not mutually exclusive. Of course a college-educated individual is not going to show up at a professional job in a big sweatshirt. A lot of college was spent learning to do just the opposite. However, lazy weekends don’t disappear because we get a job in the professional field.

Flip Flops

There is a time and a place for everything (ex: the PJ pants, giant hoodies, etc.), which is exactly why it is ridiculous to claim that flip flops are no longer shoes once you graduate from college. As I said before, no college educated person would show up to a professional job site wearing PJ pants, a big hoodie and flip flops. However, they don’t lose their identity as casual shoes to throw on for the right time/place just because I’ve got a diploma in my hand.

Formal Dresses

Again, there is a time and a place for everything. But, there is not always money and means for everything. If I still fit into a formal dress from college that is, at my own discretion, appropriate for an event/party/date that I have in the future, you best believe I will consider wearing it again. I probably spent way too much on it (typical of me) and not wearing it again would be a complete waste. Especially if its cute and still on trend. At least I wont show up wearing the same dress as anyone else, right? I win.

“Those Diamond Studs You Wear With Everything”

… they’re diamonds. I’ll wear them naked around the house if I want to. Who cares?

College Gear

This is one I will for sure continue to wear after I graduate college. Besides the fact that bookstores overcharge for everything and my first college sweatshirt was $80, I will have sunk four years and hundreds of thousands of dollars into the school I went go to. Pride in my school doesn’t go away because I’ve crossed a stage and have a $200,000 piece of paper.

I do understand that the author of this article for Cosmo may not have taken the topic so seriously. I try not to ever criticize another authors writing, because I truly do not know the intentions behind what they have written. I myself have written articles that have a joking tone, which I know doesn’t always translate to the reader. However, I feel as though the author of this article needs a reality check. There are more important things going on in the world, which can also be said for me sitting here writing this response. But, I do believe there is still a trend among women (college aged and older) to tear each other down based on appearance as if we are still in middle school. This article does nothing to further the idea of women supporting other women whatsoever. I understand this may not have been the intention, but the impact was there.

It is disheartening to think that Cosmopolitan, a professional magazine with an audience of women of all ages, would allow a (presumably) college-educated individual to write an article that appropriates the thinking that what a woman is wearing has a direct correlation to her intelligence, ability to work and overall self-worth. Also, to think that someone still believes women need to be told what to wear, what not to wear and when to do so is archaic. We have been able to vote for over 100 years. We are surgeons, CEO’s, presidential candidates. We hold some of the most powerful, influential positions in the world, especially those “after college.” I would like to (and do) believe that Michelle Obama wears a comfy hoodie every now and again. I bet Wenya Linda Bi (female neurosurgeon) reps Harvard pretty often. The cool thing is, that we have the ability to make decisions about what to put on our bodies at our own discretion.

Cover Image Credit: anchorlight.com

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved
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To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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The Biggest Sister Scandal In The Beauty Community

James Charles is corrupted by his fame and ultimately set up his failure.

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The beauty community tea is piping hot. Tati Westbrook uploaded a forty-three minute long video basically outing James Charles as a sexual predator and explained how she was there for him through all of his struggles, just to find out she was only a piece in his game of success. James Charles then posted a not-so convincing eight minute apology video and the internet went crazy.

In Tati's video we gain insight on James Charles' personality when the camera is off. Come to find out, a lot of influencers already knew James Charles to be a predator as he is constantly messaging and hitting on straight guys. When someone is presumed a predator, most of their victims come forth and share their experience, James Charles is no exception. There have been multiple people post videos about their experience with him, most of which have similar outcomes of James being turned down, getting heartbroken, and basically telling them that they definitely are not straight. Many of the people who had posted videos about their experience with James involve alcohol, whether he is trying to get them drunk or being suggestive while the other person is drunk. He goes after straight guys that he has no chance with and then plays the victim. Many influencers that had been there for him since the beginning of his career knew that his predatory tendencies were an issue and had actually spoken to him about it, telling him that if he doesn't stop it would be the downfall of his career. But as he was gaining more success, it seems as though he didn't think it would make a difference.

When I first heard about James Charles being canceled, I really wanted to be on his side. I thought that maybe this whole situation is blown way out of proportion, but when I watched the videos it was really clear that this was the shock that James Charles needs to fix himself. At first, it seems like a random video post that shouldn't have been public, but Tati explains that she tried to talk to James, he just doesn't listen. His only excuse is that he is a celebrity, so why would any of his actions have consequences?

Before James was famous, he was ambitious and had huge potential. It seems as though he was really kind, humble, and willing to do whatever it takes to reach his goal. However, when fame got to his head, he lost sight of who he is. It seems as though he is unwilling to compromise and wants to control most of the people he interacts with. Based on many sources of evidence, it's clear to see that James only cares about himself and his career and it doesn't matter who he hurt including strangers, close friends, and relatives.

It is really sad to see someone who is still in their teens go from really successful to hated by millions of his supporters. His ego and entitlement was the downfall of his career. I have hope that he will take a break and be able to redeem himself. Life went from all good to chaos in a matter of one day. Many people and brands do not want to be associated with him because of his predatory tendencies and entitlement, which would make it difficult to get a job outside of YouTube. Looking at James as a person and not like a celebrity, this must be one of the most difficult times in his life. However, it is hard to feel bad for him as he set up his own demise. He made fatal mistakes, but if he can get his act together and make the correct apologies I think he can bounce back, but handle the responsibility as a celebrity correctly after his biggest sister scandal.

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