Resentment Will Have You Out Of A Relationship Before It Is Over

Resentment Will Have You Out Of A Relationship Before It Is Over

Resentment could be the reason why you mentally and emotionally are out of a relationship before you're physically out.

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Ah, resentment. Every relationship's biggest enemy.

If you are unsure what resentment is, or you know what it is but you are in denial that is what it is, here are some examples: Resentment is that feeling of disgust when you see your partner doing something they enjoy or simply making food. Actually, disgust can even come from your partner minding their own business or minding yours.

Resentment is that feeling you get when you have to sleep next to your partner at night. And the same feeling you get when you remember that you have to share something with them. It's you rolling your eyes because they are upset about something, yet again. It's the "okay, can you be quiet now?" feeling you get when they talk, for however long they need to talk for. You just want them to shut the hell up.

Resentment is wanting to point out everything they do wrong before anything they do right. Actually, resentment can feel so hot that you never tell them they do anything right. Resentment is bitterness. But in this case, it's specifically aimed towards your partner.

But where does resentment come from? There are usually two ways this can go, and I don't mean to ignore any other way resentment can surface, but for now, I will stick with the two most popular ways. The first way is just going months and months with built up anger towards your partner, without saying anything or having said everything and them not trying. Which is why you become disgusted and bitter.

You start to hate them and everything they do. You have tried to talk to them for so long but they push you off, they are listening but they don't hear you, or they just show you that they don't care how you feel. The second way is something happens once and the next day or possibly next week you just are disgusted with them. This time, you are less disgusted because it isn't that they haven't tried talking to you about it, but it's more so the consequence of whatever action that has taken place.

Maybe you don't trust them anymore and/or possibly don't see them the same after the event. So you have just become so comfortable with the idea that this person isn't the one after having done what they did.

Either way, when resentment creeps up or hits you like a train, you are out before the relationship is over. And there are ways to get around it or let it go, but maybe it's your gut telling you-you should have taken whatever it was as a sign? Maybe, hurt and anger have taken over your body so much that you have no more respect or, possibly, love for this person? And possibly resentment has built up because you've become so fearful from overthinking. Either way, resentment is one for sure way to push yourself out of a relationship that isn't over yet.

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To The Guy Who Treated Me Like Crap

In many ways, I feel bad that you could never see how amazing I am.
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Dear (insert guy's name here),

I’m sorry that I acted as your footstool for so long. You treated me terribly, and for some reason, I couldn’t see that. I only saw you as someone who liked me and wanted to be with me (at least, that’s what I thought). I was like a little puppy dog following you around, completely loving and loyal. I was always waiting for you to text me, posting Snapchat stories for the sole purpose of knowing you would see them and always hoping you would come around when I was out with my friends so I could show you off.

No matter how hard I wanted us to work out, I now realize it never would have.

You weren’t right for me because you treated me like I was your inferior. You were always talking to other girls, flirting with them, and treating me like a child. You were so selfish. Only doing what you wanted and coming around when you felt like it and taking advantage of me. You made me feel crazy when I got mad at you for all the little things. I was so caught up in you that I tried to ignore all of the signals right in front of me.

You just weren’t right for me.

I now know that the right guy for me is the one who respects me and chooses me over everyone else. The guy who never makes me feel insane for questioning something, the guy who understands when he’s done something wrong and can live with the consequences. You just simply couldn’t provide that for me. In many ways, I feel bad that you could never see how amazing I am.

While I may have been so upset when our relationship ended, it made me realize who I am and what I deserve. I deserve so much more than someone putting in 50 percent. I deserve an endless amount of respect and communication. Putting in your all for a relationship when they can’t do the same is not healthy and it’s childish. I hope someday you can find a girl that you can love infinitely but I take a lot of pride in knowing that girl won’t be me. I may be single for a really long time or I may find the one tomorrow, either way, I have so much hope that one day someone can give me their all and make me feel incredible.

For now, I’m done wasting my time on guys like you who make me feel miserable.

Sincerely,
The One Who Got Away

Cover Image Credit: Trinity Kubassek

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Thanks To The Jonas Brothers, I Never Regret Not Dating A Teenage Boy

Ya'll made it drama free.

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All thanks to three guys from New Jersey, I never regret not having a boyfriend in Middle or High School. I started listening to the Jonas Brothers when I was in 6th grade. I was awkward, I wanted to fit in simply because I was the minority in my mostly white school district. I also wanted to feel more independent since I was reaching the ripe age of 13.

Eventually, certain things came to me where I was able to gain that independence. I had no problem talking to certain adults simply because I would just be myself, and they would have absolutely no issue with it. Then came Nick, Kevin, and Joe. They already had one album out called 'It's About Time', and too contrary belief became a classic for them to date. Eventually, as they made their approach to the Disney Channel, their popularity increased more and more. Soon enough, everyone knew of them. Even if they didn't even listen to their music, they still knew about them.

I was what you called the stereotypical 'fangirl.' I was overly protective of them whenever I would hear any guy in school call them 'gay' 'ugly' or 'untalented'. In fact, I'm very thankful that social media was not as big yet. I could not imagine going off as much as I would imagine. But there were other ways to vent. I still had some of my friends relate, but even with that, a good portion of them would tell me to stop being obsessed with them. But that only allowed my obsession to grow.

Everything that they did was a news update for me. I had to keep up with them ALL the time, no matter what the condition was. I had to know what they were doing every single day. Okay, not to a point of stalking but you get the picture. My point is that no other boy mattered at the time other than them. Joe was my favorite one so I had to keep up with him the most. Especially when he was dating someone. Yes, I will admit that some of Joe's exes were not my favorite, yet I shipped the hell out of the other ones. But I will say now that as a grown woman I am no longer interfering with his relationship. I was always wondering what it would be like to even go on a date around that age.

I never went on one considering how weird teenage boys truly are. Some of them want a girlfriend simply just to have one, and others just had their hormones go all nuts. The reason why I wasn't heavy on dating during that time was simply that I was trying to focus on myself and who I truly was. I did not want to deal with any of the drama that came with a relationship because I had a lot more than I needed to worry about.

Yes, did I want a guy that I thought was hot to date me of course! But it turns out looking back on it, I'm grateful that I decided to not give him the time of day. Considering that nowadays he's not exactly the right person to be with anyway. Even in general, I'm glad I never had to worry about fighting with another girl about another guy. A total complete waste of time, and not worth sacrificing anything.

I realized that there was so much more to life than just having a guy like you. Even if you did get those weird feelings every time he was around. Also if it was the other way around where a guy liked you, and you just didn't like him back. What a complicated web the teenage years hold. But back to the Jo-Bros. I'm grateful that these guys were in my life because it distracted me from the realities of how teenage boys truly are. You know, the ones that don't sing to you and tell you-you're beautiful every five seconds.

I'm grateful for all the memories that I had with these guys, especially making endless books and PowerPoint presentations on why I loved them so much. Although I'll still keep up with them once in a blue moon, it doesn't mean that I'll forget my first love. Just because I'm not in a room where they've plastered all over the walls anymore, doesn't mean that I didn't cherish those times when I would beg my mom to get me the latest teen magazine. If they were not in it, I didn't want it! Plain and simple everyone remembers their first teen crush. But I'm grateful that these three brothers allowed me to not get distracted by the teen dating scene. Also, I think it helped out my father as well.

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