Relationships Should Make You Better Not Bitter

Relationships Should Make You Better Not Bitter

If they aren't empowering you, they aren't the one for you.
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Four months ago I took a trip to Mississippi. I originally went there on a best friend trip as a few of us hadn't seen each other in a few months. During this adventure, my friend introduced me to a blonde haired, green eyed guy. That guy stole my heart in a Waffle House (it was a had-to-be-there moment) and my life hasn't been the same since.

Well, that guy I was just talking about is now my insanely awesome one-of-a-kind boyfriend.

You could say relationships are a big deal for me, being as I usually keep that sort of thing at a distance. Normally, I have found them pointless as my life is not exactly stable being a college student working a part time job. A same-town relationship is one thing, but having a boyfriend that lives over 500 miles away is a whole new story. I have never been one for long distance as they seemed to only be a burden for my friends in the past.

It's funny sometimes how things change because here I am. The girl that never believed in long distance relationships actually in a long distance relationship. I agree, it's tough and at times frustrating when all of your friends get to constantly have date night and you're over there having date night through Facetime; however, a relationship with the right person is all you need.

I can wholeheartedly agree that a relationship with the correct person can change your life for the better. These past four months have been filled with more laughter and smiles than I could've ever thought possible. Sure, I have people constantly criticizing me for being with someone that doesn't live near me. What these people don't see is the hours we spend on Facetime, the support we receive from our families, and the motivation we give one another. Yes, I may not get to see him in person like most girls get to see their boyfriends, but I feel just as much appreciated by him if not more.

The time we have apart from one another is more than the time we have together. This makes the time we do share that much more special. As time goes on, you compensate. You learn one another's schedule to fit time in to talk. You understand that life takes multiple turns and sometimes your time may be cut short. Long distance isn't easy, but it can work.

A relationship involves trust and a little bit of faith. Trust one another's heart and have faith that God is helping along the way. Relationships should empower you. I am in a relationship because I have found my world a little brighter since he came around. I have never been more excited to share the pointless details about my day with someone before. I'm even more excited when I receive random pictures of giant spiders he had to kill while at work.

Be with someone that motivates you to be a better you. Be with someone that you want to help succeed. Push them to reach their goals and be proud of when they accomplish them. That is your partner. You chose them to guard your heart and share in the special moments of your life. If they don't bring out the potential you never saw in yourself, you shouldn't be with them.

Allow your partner to bring out the best version of you and allow them to thrive as well. Be patient, be understanding, and be proud. That is your person.

Don't be afraid to fully give your heart to someone over a plate of waffles. It might just be the start of something greatly unexpected.

Cover Image Credit: Joelle Giudice

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9 Questions You Should Never Ask Someone In A Long Distance Relationship

"Aren't you afraid they'll cheat on you?"

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When you're in a long distance relationship, everyone will always have a million and one questions- usually a million more than if you were in a relationship that didn't have any distance at all. As I've been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years now, I've learned that some questions will get asked more than once and some will be equally annoying every time you're asked said question(s). Here are x questions you shouldn't ask someone in a long distance relationship.

1. "Aren't you afraid they'll cheat on you?"

I mean, even if we lived right down the road from each other, he could very well cheat on me then. In my opinion, distance has nothing to do with it. Our relationship (and most long distance relationships) are heavily built on trust. So, no, I'm not afraid.

2. "Why don't you date someone who is close to you?"

Because it just didn't work out like that. I didn't exactly choose to date someone who lived in a different country, but that's how it turned out and although it isn't easy, we've made it work.

3. "You know a long distance relationship isn't a real relationship, right?"

How so? Are you saying it isn't a "real relationship" because we don't live right next door to each other? It's still a very real relationship whether we're living in the same house or we're 1,000 miles away.

4. "How are you able to be in a relationship who you only see from time to time?"

Exactly how you think we would. We talk every single day, mostly through text and have the occasional phone call or video chat. Is it easy? No. But is it worth it? Of course it is.

5. "How do you know he just isn't trying to move to the U.S?"

I don't think I have to worry about that.

6. "How does intimacy work?"

I'll let you think about that one.

7. "What do you do for sex? How do you deal with that?"

Well, that's a little invasive, don't you think?

8. "Oh... so a long distance relationship is like an open relationship?"

Nope. A long distance relationship is like a long distance relationship. Sure, some people have open relationships, but not us. Our relationship is just like yours and many others except we don't live close to each other.

9. "Why would you do that to yourself?"

Do what to myself, exactly? To be fair, I didn't choose to do anything to myself. The only thing I really "chose" was to be with someone who lives very far away, but we both knew what we were getting into from the beginning. So, I'm not "doing" anything to myself. We're just making the best out of a difficult situation.

Don't get me wrong, we don't mind that you ask us questions, but sometimes, you really have to think before you speak. Please stop with the invasive questions or trying to invalidate our relationship solely because we live far away from each other. Our relationship is just as valid as yours, I promise.

Cover Image Credit:

Yoann Boyer/Unsplash

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A Letter To The Friends I'm Leaving Behind

I will miss y'all like none other.
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To my girls:

We have talked about this time in our lives for years, and here it is. We just graduated. A big step in our lives that I wouldn’t have been able to do with out y’all.

Y’all are apart of all of my big accomplishments and all of my best memories include you! I’ve watched y’all grow into beautiful women and I’m so ready to continue watching y’all grow. I am so excited to see what God has in store for us, but unfortunately, God has placed me hours away.

Hours away from our nights out, from your laughs, your smiles, and your presence. I say unfortunately but I am more than excited to tackle this chapter of life. Although, the day I’ve been dreading is going to be here before we know it. As we embark on the crazy roller coaster called college, I want y’all to remember a few things.

Remember that I am just a phone call away. We might not be close in distance but the miles between us will never break the bond we’ve created. Remember that no friendships I make in college will replace you. Each of you have impacted me in so many ways and new friendships will not change my appreciation for you. My Instagram feed may not be filled with our crazy adventures anymore, but you are still so important to me.

Remember that I will do anything for y’all. My life would not be the same without each one of my girls and I am so blessed to call you my girls. Lastly, remember that I love y’all! I know we won't be as close anymore, but know that I will always love you like the sisters I never had. Thank y’all for making growing up not so bad! Also, don’t forget about me yet…. I’ll be back before you know it!

Love, Katelyn

Cover Image Credit: Georgie Flore's Instagram

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