Relationships Should Make You Better Not Bitter

Relationships Should Make You Better Not Bitter

If they aren't empowering you, they aren't the one for you.
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Four months ago I took a trip to Mississippi. I originally went there on a best friend trip as a few of us hadn't seen each other in a few months. During this adventure, my friend introduced me to a blonde haired, green eyed guy. That guy stole my heart in a Waffle House (it was a had-to-be-there moment) and my life hasn't been the same since.

Well, that guy I was just talking about is now my insanely awesome one-of-a-kind boyfriend.

You could say relationships are a big deal for me, being as I usually keep that sort of thing at a distance. Normally, I have found them pointless as my life is not exactly stable being a college student working a part time job. A same-town relationship is one thing, but having a boyfriend that lives over 500 miles away is a whole new story. I have never been one for long distance as they seemed to only be a burden for my friends in the past.

It's funny sometimes how things change because here I am. The girl that never believed in long distance relationships actually in a long distance relationship. I agree, it's tough and at times frustrating when all of your friends get to constantly have date night and you're over there having date night through Facetime; however, a relationship with the right person is all you need.

I can wholeheartedly agree that a relationship with the correct person can change your life for the better. These past four months have been filled with more laughter and smiles than I could've ever thought possible. Sure, I have people constantly criticizing me for being with someone that doesn't live near me. What these people don't see is the hours we spend on Facetime, the support we receive from our families, and the motivation we give one another. Yes, I may not get to see him in person like most girls get to see their boyfriends, but I feel just as much appreciated by him if not more.

The time we have apart from one another is more than the time we have together. This makes the time we do share that much more special. As time goes on, you compensate. You learn one another's schedule to fit time in to talk. You understand that life takes multiple turns and sometimes your time may be cut short. Long distance isn't easy, but it can work.

A relationship involves trust and a little bit of faith. Trust one another's heart and have faith that God is helping along the way. Relationships should empower you. I am in a relationship because I have found my world a little brighter since he came around. I have never been more excited to share the pointless details about my day with someone before. I'm even more excited when I receive random pictures of giant spiders he had to kill while at work.

Be with someone that motivates you to be a better you. Be with someone that you want to help succeed. Push them to reach their goals and be proud of when they accomplish them. That is your partner. You chose them to guard your heart and share in the special moments of your life. If they don't bring out the potential you never saw in yourself, you shouldn't be with them.

Allow your partner to bring out the best version of you and allow them to thrive as well. Be patient, be understanding, and be proud. That is your person.

Don't be afraid to fully give your heart to someone over a plate of waffles. It might just be the start of something greatly unexpected.

Cover Image Credit: Joelle Giudice

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Want To Be A Better Boyfriend? Try These 5 Tricks

4. Listen to her.

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Some days, it seems like girlfriends are constantly asking for more, and while they may be annoying, there are a few simple ways to stop her nagging and win her praise.

1. Pay attention to her.

I promise you, she is dropping hints every day. These may sound like "Awh, look at all the pretty flowers" or "I haven't been to Boba House in so long!"

2. Plan dates. 

Text her while she is at school or work, and tell her to be ready when you get home or by a certain time. Give her an idea of how dressed up she should be, but don't tell her where you're going. Then, take her to her favorite restaurant, one she's mentioned lately, or to a new movie she'd been looking forward to!

3. Pick up small gifts for her.

This doesn't have to be anything expensive, but next time you're at the grocery store pick up her favorite candy, or a small flower bouquet. Just something little that will show her you were thinking of her when you weren't together.

4. Listen to her. 

Ask about her day, and when she tells you what Sarah did at work, ask her the next day or a few days later if things got better. Take interest in her life and remind her occasionally refer back to old topics to prove you do listen.

5. Get her involved in your interests.

It doesn't all have to be about her! Ask her to watch the game with you, or to go out with you to hang with your friends. She wants to be just as involved in your life as she wants you to be involved in hers!

At the end of the day, every relationship is different. Take this advice as vaguely as needed, and learn your partner and what they expect from you! Happy dating! :)

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3 Tips To Help Maintain A Healthy Long Distance Relationship

Just trust me on this.

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Long distance relationships have a stigma surrounding them that claims "they're too much work," "they'll end up in those involved cheating," or "they just don't work." While some of these complaints have been known to happen, I'm here to explain to you that they are generally wrong. That's right, ladies. If he really loves you, he will give the long distance scenario a shot.

There are three ways to make a long distance relationship work, and as a young girl who is obsessed with her long-distance boyfriend of a year and a half, I can safely say these are, in fact, the glue that keeps these types of situations going.

1. There is a light at the end of the tunnel

The first way to guarantee your relationship will stay golden is to constantly have a date set where you will see your significant other in person. I am lucky enough to see my boy either every weekend, or every other weekend. I can sympathize for the truly long distance couples with longer time spans to suffer through, but I cannot say I've experienced it first hand. I just know that any time spent away from my boyfriend is awful, and having a permanent date set that is not subject to change gives us a reason to be excited and cherish the moments we do have together even more.

2. Communicate communicate communicate

I can not say it enough, constant communication is truly the number one reason Mason and I have made it this far. Whenever someone asks how we're still together, I always have the same answer; he has to be my best friend before my boyfriend. This isn't a relationship that will happen overnight, but it is definitely a foundation you need to have if you're going to make the distance work. I tell Mason everything, no matter how dumb it is. It isn't about impressing him at this point, there is literally no way I could ever be embarrassed in front of him. He knows everything and is my shoulder to cry on in any situation, making it literally impossible to ever have a reason to hide something or lie to him.

We are there for each other no matter what time it is, and we're one hundred percent committed to our relationship. It's important to remember that for seemingly difficult relationships to work (or any for that matter) you have to put in perspective that this is your potential partner for the rest of your life. This isn't just a fun fling, but a partnership meant to last longer than the season of life where you're apart.

3. Trust

This seems like a cliche tip, but trust truly is the glue that pieces everything together. You have to trust that you'll see each other on the date you agreed to. You have to trust that the communication between you two is truthful and as frequent as it can be. Trust is the hardest tip out of all of these because it takes so much time and effort to build, but can be completely ruined with one action.

Mason and I still struggle with trusting each other in new or foreign situations, but as long as we communicate and work out our concerns, our trust in each other only grows. It's a cycle that your relationship must stay on in order to continue. Trust and communication go hand in hand; while both are hard to establish, they're the only thing missing from the happy relationship you're looking for.

In conclusion, while long distance relationships require a lot of work, they're definitely not impossible. I don't know what I would do without Mason in my life, and there is absolutely no way distance could break the bond we have. No matter how hard it seems, remember that while the distance is a season of your life, your significant other could potentially be forever.

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