All of the holidays are meshed together… so we go insane. That’s just how it is. First we have to cook a huge meal for Thanksgiving, and then again on Christmas- for those of us who are Catholic. It’s one thing after another with the planning on seeing everyone in the family. And it is all crammed into just two months time. Imagine throwing a relationship in there, with someone who has yet to meet your family? You’re still in that awkward limbo phase where it’s not entirely natural to walk into your significant other’s home and speak to their family members like you’re all old friends.

At first, it feels suffocating. You get to meet these strangers: strangers that your significant other was raised by… and every time your significant other leaves the table you wonder what topic is appropriate to bring up and converse about. Obvious no-go’s include politics, religion and sometimes sports.

When I met my significant others family, right before the Thanksgiving holiday, I was naturally quiet, I didn’t know what to expect. He was startled by how quiet I was, and told me “The last thing I want is for you to leave here and for them to say you seemed shy when we both know that’s so far from being true”.

After that, I opened up to them. I started being my true, sarcastic, sassy self. I’ve always been proud of who I am, and after I opened up and showed them that side of me, they loved it and respected that I could hold my own. I was sarcastic toward their son, and they ended up helping me dish it out to him. Moral of the story, is don’t ever hide who you truly are. If you’re a good fit with your significant other and you make them happy, their family is going to appreciate you for who you are inside. You get past the awkward stages, and then you’re eating Thanksgiving dinner with them at the table, playing with the younger children and bonding with the adults over wine. Before you know it, you’re watching your significant other do a back flip off the front steps, showing off to his cousins, while you worry about him hitting his head on the concrete.

After Thanksgiving comes whichever holiday you celebrate next... Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza… you get the point. All month, I spent worrying over what to get my significant other. All you have to do is ask them what they want. That’s all I ended up doing, because if a relationship is still semi new, how are you to know what they really want for Christmas? It’s like going away on a trip and only bringing people back keychains because you do not know what they truly care about yet in life.

The key to surviving this Holiday season? Be yourself, and be honest. Ask questions. Learn about each other. It will be the easiest way to survive both meeting family members, and the dreaded gift giving season. You might learn a thing or two about yourself while you’re going through the motions, and that’s a gift all of its own.

Jenn Tanner