Why #RelationshipGoals Aren't Goals At All

Why #RelationshipGoals Aren't Goals At All

Our "goal" for relationships shouldn't be based in something just as flawed as we are.
5
views

The idea of relationship goals is that there’s some ideal, some picture of what you want in your own relationship that is exhibited by a different couple. They might be people you know, celebrities or fictional characters, but the idea is that they have something you want. Their relationship is your goal.

That’s not healthy. Don’t do it. It’s not bad to see aspects of other couples’ relationships that you want for yourself. It’s actually a good thing to look at another healthy relationship and say “What are they doing right and how can I do that too?” But it becomes dangerous when you expect your relationship to look exactly like someone else’s. Have standards, have expectations (for yourself, as well as your significant other), but don’t base those things solely off other people. Base those off something better, something stronger, something that’s not flawed. Base those things off God.

A dependence on God and God alone is true #RelationshipGoals.

Don’t look to your significant other for fulfillment. Whether you’re dating or engaged or married, they will never be able to fulfill you. Never. For some romantics, that might be hard to swallow. But being in a true relationship with someone means knowing all of their flaws and loving them through them. It means sacrifice and commitment. Love is a choice, an action. It’s not an emotion, but a daily decision. Some days, that decision is the easiest decision you can make. Others, it will be harder. But no matter how much you love someone, you will never find fulfillment in that relationship. Humans, everyone single one of us (yes, you too), are broken creatures. We will fail over and over and over again. No matter how wonderful your boyfriend or girlfriend is, they will fail you. They’re going to mess up. You’re going to mess up. It’s going to be messy all around. The truth is, putting your ultimate hope and fulfillment in someone just as broken as yourself will only lead to disappointment and heartache. Instead, put your hope in the one who created not just you and the one you love, but also the world and universe in which you live. He will never fail you.

Don’t look to someone else’s relationship for fulfillment, either. Comparing your relationship (whether it’s one you’re currently in or hope to one day be in) is incredibly dangerous. It creates false expectations and standards. Every relationship is unique, just like every person. And every relationship has its own flaws which most of the world won’t see. Our society is incredibly good at deception, at making something ugly look desirable. We don’t want anyone to see the hurt, the pain, the brokenness inside. And relationships are no exception. A thousand cute, romantic pictures on Instagram does not mean that everything is sunshine and rainbows and unicorns. It just means someone is really good at making it look that way. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. Either way, appearances are deceiving, and we need to be careful not to compare what we have with what we think we want. Often times, what we think we want is not as good as it seems.

It’s wise to talk to strong couples (especially older, married ones—you know, the ones with lots of experience at this) about how they make things work. It’s wise to seek advice. It’s wise to have standards. However, it’s also necessary to understand that fulfillment can never come from someone else besides your Creator, a God who loves and cherishes and understands you more than any human ever could. Being in love with him first is my #RelationshipGoal.

Cover Image Credit: Blaber

Popular Right Now

3 Reasons Why Step Dads Are Super Dads

65995
views

I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

11 Verses To Help In Times Of Trouble

These verses have helped me when I was lost and I hope they help you to.

hannahd
hannahd
50
views

The bible has always been something I could turn to in my times of trouble and confusion. God really does have so many answers for the millions of questions I have for him. The verses I have below are only a few of the ones I can count on I guess you could say. I know that God is always there even when I have self-doubt about it and think I am all alone in the world.

He might not answer right away but he always answers even with the little things that come along in my life.

1. John 14:1-4 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."

In this verse, it would help if you are ever upset because God is letting you know that he will always have a place for you, that you will not be alone.

2. Psalm 18:6 " In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears."

If you are ever weak or frustrated because you are lost, God will always here you cry out for him and he might not always answer right away but he hears you and will help

3. Psalm 23:1-4 "The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

You might be feeling alone like nobody is there for you, but God is always there and will guide you through the tough times you are facing.

4. Matthew 8:26 "He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm."

Self-doubt or worried and you are scared of what might or even can happen and things will happen and you get overwhelmed, but God will calm everything around you.

5. Philippians 4:8-9 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

Being anxious about things and working through them too fast and you can be messing up and get upset about it. God tells you to slow down and practice the things he has taught you and they will work out.

6. Joshua 1:5-6 "No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them."

Needing courage because something just happened and you have lost your way. God is saying that you need to hold your ground and stick up for yourself, on your good and bad days the devil will try and test you but God will be with you always.

7.  Psalm 73:23-34 "Yet I am always with you;you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward, you will take me into glory."

You have lost direction and don't know what to do, the lord will be right by your side, guiding you through life. He is there to listen to you and help you find your way back to the right path.

8. Psalm 27:6 " Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord."

Feeling alone, depressed and you have lost all hope in everything God is telling you he will lift your head above everyone who has doubted you or made you feel less, he will pull you out and you will succeed above everyone else.

9. Colossians 3:12-24  "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

God is telling you to humble yourself and have certain traits you need to hold. If you are unhappy with someone, forgive one another because the Lord forgives you for what you have done and he sees you doing all.

10. Psalm 51:1-2 "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin."

This is more of a straight forward verse in saying that if you have sinned, you are asking God to forgive you of your sins and to help you not do them again

11. Psalm 91:3-5 "Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will no fear the terror of night, or the arrow that flies by day."

Being worried or in danger or scared of something God will save you. If you are in trouble God will find a way to get you out of that situation, he will protect you and get you out.

I hope you can turn to at least one of these in times of trouble or confusion or lost. I have been so lost on where I should be or what I should be doing with life and these have helped me a lot.

hannahd
hannahd

Related Content

Facebook Comments