When Your Relationship Is At Your Most Vulnerable, Please Remember To Stand Firm

When Your Relationship Is At Your Most Vulnerable, Please Remember To Stand Firm

Overcoming the obstacles is what makes the journey worth it.
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In a relationship, being the bigger man is better said than done. It takes a good amount of sacrifice to be able to make food trips, give as much time as possible to her, and be able to love her unconditionally regardless of the flaws that come with dating your lovely woman. As a man, you're willing to make those sacrifices to be with your one and only as such. So when your relationship is at your most vulnerable (constant fights/arguing, lack of communication, etc.) how would you react?

Many of my friends gave me different opinions on what they felt was the right thing to do. Some said to just leave, abandoning all you and your love have built up and tearing it right back down to dust, assuming that hope is all lost. Others have said to try and work it out and that nothing is ever perfect (have a conversation, take her out to eat, go to the park with her, etc.) Another girl told me that she'd take a "break" for a bit before getting back with her boyfriend (didn't work out too well.) Then there's the craziest scenario.

Another girl has come into your life and has a crush on you. Yikes.

It's not just any girl. She's beautiful, talks about everything with you, is kind and respectful. This leaves you more vulnerable than any other scenario you can possibly imagine.

Yes, this was me.

How did I react? At the time, I just couldn't do it. I could not stoop so low as to cheat on anyone. As much as my girlfriend (now ex, unfortunately) hadn't communicated with me at all for weeks at a time and never saw me for months (strangely, since she was out of work at the time and wasn't in school), as much as the girl I was talking to was sweet and cute, I made a promise to stick through the trials and tribulations with my ride or die.

At my most vulnerable, I stood firm. I promised.

And even though my relationship ended a month later, I was proud of myself to be able to stand up for someone I love, regardless of the troubles it came with.

Being at your most vulnerable is difficult. However, always remember why you started dating your loved one. Stand firm.

Stand. Firm.

Cover Image Credit: @couplegoals

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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4 Signs You Are NOT Ready To Be In A Relationship

Being single isn't the end of the world, and if you think it is maybe you should re-check your priorities.

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Most people dream of finding the one. Spending months to years getting to know them, to settle down, have a life that they are comfortable with, with the person they share a deep connection. But if you are in your late teens or early twenties still in college wishing for this to happen to you, maybe you should look around and really take into consideration if you are ready for a relationship.

1.  All you can think about is having a significant other 

Now it's not bad if every now and then you take some time to really debate what you want in a partner and what your standards are. There is nothing wrong with looking around and seeing what you want and don't want in a partner, but if it constantly taking up space in your mind, you might need to take a step back and focus on other things.

 2. Your phone is full of dating apps 

Some people use these web tools to search and find people just looking for fun. But if you have multiple apps and you still are single it might be time to delete them and pour all the energy and attention to yourself and your hobbies. Dating apps aren't a bad thing if you make clear what you are looking for, but if it comes down to the fact that you are paying for extra swipes, maybe save that money and go spend it on a coffee.

3. You think about your ex...a lot 

Getting closure is a vital part of life. An ex is someone who will always have an impact on your life even if is in the way of choosing a type of food over another, or new music on your travel playlist. But if you are still pondering the breakup, or writing poetry, or crying casually over them a few times a month, you are far from closure.

4. You don’t love yourself 100%

If you are looking for someone to complete you, you might want to look in the mirror because that is the only person who can make you happy. The only person who can make you the person you dream of being one day is the one that you try to tune out, the one who you blame for being single, the one who you are desperately trying to find love for. If you don't love yourself then you won't find love anywhere else.

Loving yourself is something that should come naturally and loving someone else should too. But until you have a complete vision of what your values are no one can walk into your life and find them for you.

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