relationship red flags you

14 Relationship Deal Breakers That Should Warn You Not To Even Give Them A Second Date

Because some sh*t is just unacceptable.

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Being open-minded is great when it comes to relationships. I fully endorse the idea of dating different people from different backgrounds to expand your own views, but there are some things you just have to say no to. Here are 14 deal-breakers that I think everyone should set.

1. Having absolutely nothing in common

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We're off to a pretty obvious start here. It's always nice to date someone a little different than you to broaden your own horizons. But that doesn't necessarily mean dating your complete opposite is the best idea. If you find yourselves not being able to connect on anything, it might not be meant to be.

2. Constantly talking over or interrupting you

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Sure, everyone does this from time to time. But if your partner consistently talks over you and doesn't let you speak your own mind, they may view what they are saying as more important than something you have to say.

3. Jealousy/possessiveness

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Everyone can get jealous at times— it's just a part of human nature. But if they are sneaking onto your phone to look through your text messages and telling you not to talk to certain people, it's a really good sign that they don't really trust you.

4. No ambition

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Now, I'm not saying they need to want to be the next president or anything. But having some sort of life goal is important. Maybe they are training to one day run a marathon or they are in college studying to get a certain degree. It doesn't need to be anything to far into the future, but they should have plans other than just to lie around for the rest of their life.

5. Distance in the physical sense

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Distance is something that can kill any relationship. Especially if it's a relatively new relationship, most people want someone who is not too far away to snuggle with.

6. Different paths

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If you both have completely different outlooks on what you want your futures to look like, they may not be your perfect match. Compromise can always come into play, but if they picture having 8 kids with a big house and you want to live in a small apartment in the city, then it may get difficult to agree.

7. Temper

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One of the biggest deal-breakers everyone and their mother should have is extreme anger issues. Everyone gets a little bit upset from time to time, but if they ever take their anger out on you in any way, run for the hills and never look back.

8. Social media/technology habits

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Most young people in today's age have a smartphone in their hand for the majority of the day. Which is completely fine, unless your new S.O. is constantly not responding to you and never showing you off on their Instagram or Snapchat. If you're constantly texting them throughout your day and they take five hours to respond, well...there may be a problem.

9. Hung up on an ex

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Don't get me wrong here— I'm all for remaining friends with exes. But if they are constantly bringing them up in conversation, talking them up or slamming them down, then it may be a bad sign. Also, remember if they constantly talk badly about their exes, that probably means they'll do the same to you once you're over.

10. Religious/political views

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Political parties are at each other's throats. Maybe if you're super open-minded, you can make this work. But if you constantly go back to fighting over politics or religious beliefs, it may be time to call it off.

11. Seeing the other as a project

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Sure, as you progress in a relationship you may find some unfavorable traits of theirs. But it's never a good sign if you are starting out a relationship with a list of things that you want to 'fix.' They're a person, not a project, after all.

12. Alcohol/drug problem

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If you like to enjoy a drink or two every once in a while, but they are going out and getting wasted more then you're comfortable with, then things may just not work out for the best.

13. Social tendencies

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There's nothing wrong with being an introvert or an extrovert, but dating someone who would rather stay in on a Friday night while you want to go out and hit up the clubs may be a struggle.

14. General inability to work together

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If you find yourselves arguing more often than not and constantly at each other's throats, then it's probably a pretty strong sign that you two just aren't right for each other.

Overall, if your partner has one or two of these things, then you may be able to still work it out. Maybe your relationship is so strong that it can transcend past all of these things, and if so, then a huge stadium-filled applause to you.

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21 Reasons You Should Date Someone Who Was A Camp Counselor

Spouse and parent material, all wrapped up in an animal shirt, Nike shorts, and Chacos.
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1. They shop at Goodwill mostly... low maintenance you could say?

SEE ALSO: The ABC's Of Summer Camp

2. They are pretty awesome at talking to parents... opening days have given good practice for them. Give them 15 minutes and they will become best friends with your parents.

3. Their best friends actually are long distance...so you can wait a while to meet their besties who will want to know everything about you and make sure your intentions are good.

4. They have learned how to look decently presentable without showering for a week... maybe two...you may or may not like this one.

5. They are always down for adventure... sure let's hike for eight miles uphill in the middle of the week!

6. They know what it is like to be woken up at 2 a.m. because someone wet their bed... mom training.

7. They also know how to give the "modest is hottest" talk to the teenage campers... and will help give you a classy future daughter.

8. Building fires is their hidden talent... if you ever get stuck on a deserted island with them they can help you.

9. Animal shirts are a common clothing item... they know how to have fun.

10. They throw killer dance parties... ones your grandma would approve of.

11. They are used to being publicly embarrassed for others (their campers') enjoyment... and usually can take a joke or prank well.

12. They also know how to prank you back... summer camp prepares you for awesome prank wars.

13. If you want to see her with no makeup on just look at her camp photos... natural beauty?

14. They actually love children... they chose to spend a whole summer loving other people's kids; imagine how awesome they will treat their own.

15. Chances are they are a really fun person and will bring out your inner child... yes, climb that random tree and paint your face because it is Wednesday.

16. Their "real job" will come later in life... they will end up being successful. Most employers love to hire former counselors, so it is not a waste of a summer.

17. They know how to hide their favorites in life really well... so if they choose to date you they are basically saying you are their favorite and that is a big deal to them.

18. They have learned how to eat unhealthy food every day for a whole summer and stay in shape... or try to at least.

19. They also are obviously not a diva when it comes to material needs...they went a whole summer without even air conditioning and never complained.

20. If they love you anything like they love their campers your needs will always be put first...they are some of the most selfless people you will ever meet.

21. They love God, living for Him, and have already made a difference in many children's lives... they are the real MVPS.

If you are still looking for a place to work this summer and love adventure, Jesus, and children, apply for Camp Crestridge for Girls; they still have many positions available. I'll be there so you should too!

If you are a boy apply for Camp Ridgecrest for Boys!

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To The Person Staying In An Abusive Relationship

You have worth, and don't let anyone or their actions let you think differently.

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I was going to title this article "to the girl in an abusive relationship," but I think that it's important to note that relationship abuse can happen to any gender in any relationship type. So, with that in mind, here's what you came for.

Let's face it. You've probably seen movies, read books, and heard stories of people that have been in abusive relationships. You know the signs and you've read the pamphlets, but those things don't happen to people who are careful with their heart, right? Well, unfortunately, no. You can reexamine every decision you've made, and not be able to figure out where you went wrong, but still find yourself in a place where you're not happy. It might be a romantic relationship, it might be a friendship, or it might be a relationship with a family member. Either way, if there is a person in your life (male or female) that is damaging your health, I hope that you read these words carefully and do what's best for you. Let me start out with a story…

This is hard for me to write about, I'll admit. I was in a relationship with a guy named Jake recently and I thought he was the love of my life. We were really good friends, and he made me laugh like no one else. The further we got in our relationship, however, the more upset I seemed to find myself. When things were good, I'll admit, they were great. But when Jake did something that upset me, somehow the blame always came back to me. After being together for a while, Jake actually downloaded Tinder (an app predominantly for dating and hookups). He told me he did it, and that it was all just a joke to "mess with people," but the more I thought about it, the more upset I got. I tried talking to him. I tried to tell him that this made me really uncomfortable, and he brushed off my comment saying, "it's just a joke, it shouldn't matter this much to you." If it was just a joke, it shouldn't be that hard to just get rid of it right? But maybe I was overreacting.

I'll also admit, that at the time I was dating Jake, my mental health was in a really bad place. My anxiety was at an all-time high, and balancing school with a relationship isn't an easy feat for a person in the best shape—let alone someone in my position. Because of this, I got overwhelmed very easily. I really tried to explain this to Jake. I wanted him to know that when I cried, it wasn't because I was trying to manipulate him. Things sometimes just got too intense for me, and I started to think the worst. There was nothing I could do to convince my brain otherwise, and things soon started to become a battle both against myself and Jake. I felt ashamed for crying at things that upset me, and I would try to hide it. Because that's what a good girlfriend does. Don't put him through more than he can handle.

One of the hardest things for me to handle in my relationship with Jake was the way he would talk about other girls. He would get on Instagram while we were hanging out and show me pictures of other girls with big butts or tiny waists and say, jokingly "is this going to be you someday?" He didn't mean it to be hurtful, but I've always struggled with body image. From an early age, a close family friend of ours had always commented on my weight. He would come over for meals and tell me I needed to eat less or tell me my shirt was too tight and didn't look good. I revealed these things to Jake early in our relationship, but I think he thought that telling me he thought I could look like those women one day would help me feel better about myself. Either way, it upset me, but I didn't want to upset Jake so I tried to hide my tears and hold my tongue when I could. Maybe I would look like those girls one day because maybe that was what he wanted.

When Jake and I ended up breaking up, I knew it was for the best. Even though I had fallen in love with his family, and my heart was shattered, I knew that I would piece myself back together, stronger than before. I knew while I was in the midst of that relationship that there were things that just weren't right. That wasn't what love looked like, no matter how hard I tried to squint and disfigure what I was seeing. Looking back now, I don't blame Jake for what happened between us. I wasn't in a good place with my mental health, as I've mentioned before, and I know I contributed my fair share of problems. I write this not so that you'll think less of Jake and feel sorry for me, but for anyone who finds themselves in the same situation. Do you find yourself trying to hold back your emotional reactions in attempts to please someone in your life? Do they make you uncomfortable, but after being shot down multiple times for expressing your feelings, you just try to make it bother you less? If you feel deep down inside yourself that something isn't right, then you know that more than one thing is probably wrong.

Emotional abuse doesn't come with outside bruises that physical abuse does. Yes, there are women out there being told that they're useless and getting shoved into walls because of it, but that doesn't mean that your problems are any less important. It's going to be hard to remove yourself from the relationship with an abusive person, no matter what role they play in your life. It'll probably break your heart some, but time heals just about all wounds. You need to do what's going to be best for all aspects of your health in the long run. Surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally, and if you need to cry, do it. There is nothing wrong with experiencing your emotions and being a little selfish to take care of yourself.

**I want to add a note to any family or friends who might know Jake. I don't hate him or wish him ill, and, again, this article was not meant to put him in a bad light. It was simply a bad relationship and we both contributed to its final destruction. I'm happy now with the person I've become, and I'm making my way to a better place day by day. That's all that matters and I thank everyone for their love and support**

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