14 Relationship Deal Breakers That Should Warn You Not To Even Give Them A Second Date

14 Relationship Deal Breakers That Should Warn You Not To Even Give Them A Second Date

Because some sh*t is just unacceptable.

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Being open-minded is great when it comes to relationships. I fully endorse the idea of dating different people from different backgrounds to expand your own views, but there are some things you just have to say no to. Here are 14 deal-breakers that I think everyone should set.

1. Having absolutely nothing in common

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We're off to a pretty obvious start here. It's always nice to date someone a little different than you to broaden your own horizons. But that doesn't necessarily mean dating your complete opposite is the best idea. If you find yourselves not being able to connect on anything, it might not be meant to be.

2. Constantly talking over or interrupting you

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Sure, everyone does this from time to time. But if your partner consistently talks over you and doesn't let you speak your own mind, they may view what they are saying as more important than something you have to say.

3. Jealousy/possessiveness

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Everyone can get jealous at times— it's just a part of human nature. But if they are sneaking onto your phone to look through your text messages and telling you not to talk to certain people, it's a really good sign that they don't really trust you.

4. No ambition

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Now, I'm not saying they need to want to be the next president or anything. But having some sort of life goal is important. Maybe they are training to one day run a marathon or they are in college studying to get a certain degree. It doesn't need to be anything to far into the future, but they should have plans other than just to lie around for the rest of their life.

5. Distance in the physical sense

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Distance is something that can kill any relationship. Especially if it's a relatively new relationship, most people want someone who is not too far away to snuggle with.

6. Different paths

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If you both have completely different outlooks on what you want your futures to look like, they may not be your perfect match. Compromise can always come into play, but if they picture having 8 kids with a big house and you want to live in a small apartment in the city, then it may get difficult to agree.

7. Temper

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One of the biggest deal-breakers everyone and their mother should have is extreme anger issues. Everyone gets a little bit upset from time to time, but if they ever take their anger out on you in any way, run for the hills and never look back.

8. Social media/technology habits

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Most young people in today's age have a smartphone in their hand for the majority of the day. Which is completely fine, unless your new S.O. is constantly not responding to you and never showing you off on their Instagram or Snapchat. If you're constantly texting them throughout your day and they take five hours to respond, well...there may be a problem.

9. Hung up on an ex

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Don't get me wrong here— I'm all for remaining friends with exes. But if they are constantly bringing them up in conversation, talking them up or slamming them down, then it may be a bad sign. Also, remember if they constantly talk badly about their exes, that probably means they'll do the same to you once you're over.

10. Religious/political views

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Political parties are at each other's throats. Maybe if you're super open-minded, you can make this work. But if you constantly go back to fighting over politics or religious beliefs, it may be time to call it off.

11. Seeing the other as a project

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Sure, as you progress in a relationship you may find some unfavorable traits of theirs. But it's never a good sign if you are starting out a relationship with a list of things that you want to 'fix.' They're a person, not a project, after all.

12. Alcohol/drug problem

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If you like to enjoy a drink or two every once in a while, but they are going out and getting wasted more then you're comfortable with, then things may just not work out for the best.

13. Social tendencies

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There's nothing wrong with being an introvert or an extrovert, but dating someone who would rather stay in on a Friday night while you want to go out and hit up the clubs may be a struggle.

14. General inability to work together

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If you find yourselves arguing more often than not and constantly at each other's throats, then it's probably a pretty strong sign that you two just aren't right for each other.

Overall, if your partner has one or two of these things, then you may be able to still work it out. Maybe your relationship is so strong that it can transcend past all of these things, and if so, then a huge stadium-filled applause to you.

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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To The Friends Who’ve Lost Their Way

For any who has been through or is going through a "breakup" with their friend

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While I certainly hope none of you reading this have ever had to experience the hurt that comes with the absence of a friend once very prevalent in your life, I also realize it is unlikely such is not the case or will not be the case at some point in the future.

On that depressing note, let's begin.

Because friendships (yes, even great ones) can end for a variety of reasons it is firstly important to understand why yours did.

1. Do your best to understand what lead up to the “break up”

Some questions you can ask yourself to help you understand are:

Was it something you did? Was it something they did? Or was it maybe none of the above? Did you guys just grow apart perhaps?

Understanding why your close friend is no longer your close friend or maybe even a friend at all is key to starting the process of healing and eventually moving on from the relationship. It is important to know where things went wrong and why so you can either be sure to not make the same mistakes or recognize the warning signs in future friendships.

2. Acknowledge how much of the breakup is your fault (if any) and how much is their fault (if any).

In understanding where things went wrong, it is just as important to pick apart where the fault lies. While it may seem petty to dwell on such details, such details are actually exactly what must be thought on in order for forgiveness to begin to take place. Either you must ask for it or you must give it or maybe even both before closure rather than anger, resentment, frustration or sadness can be at forefront of your mind.

3. Most importantly, learn from the experience.

As heartbreaking as it might be, you can still take something good away from what seems like an irreparably damaged friendship. In addition to having all the good memories before things went sour you now also have emotional experience dealing with something much less than pleasant. Use whatever happened to not only grow as a person but to be a better friend or pick out better friends for you!

4. Keep in mind: Things get better with time

As cliche as it is, one day in the future you might even be capable of looking back on the relationship with nothing but fondness. Or hey! Maybe you'll decide to reach out to them again having healed with newfound experience under your belt. Chances are just like the test you won't remember being upset over failing in the sixth grade, you won't even remember what made things so bad with your friend.

Rather than dwelling on something that can't be reversed, use the experience to better yourself and the friends and people still around you! Even though friendship breakups can be some of the hardest out there to deal with, there will always be more friends to be had and second chances to be given (to both of you:)).

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