Over the past few weeks I’ve had some major changes take place in my life. I’ve moved from Connecticut back to my home state of Georgia. I’ve ended a horrible relationship and the sad part is; I don’t even miss him. Yes, there were a few tears, but they weren’t sad ones. More like tears of utter joy and freedom.
So, my question to you is: when do you know that it’s time to break up? When is enough, enough?
Just a little run down on my past relationship to fill you so I can be justified in my decision to part ways. I spent the most of my time caring for the other person and trying to make their life perfect. I didn’t complain because Lord knows he did enough of that for the both of us.
My time, energy, and emotions were constantly spent trying to be everything that I possibly could for him and, yet I constantly asked myself if it was enough. I got so caught up in trying to make someone else happy that I completely lost sight of my true happiness.
I suffered in silence most of the time except when I had met my mental capacity for the bullshit. I put myself in counseling because I needed the time to just get it all out. I needed someone to vent my frustrations to. I would leave my sessions feeling drained and just spent from all the emotions that would come out.
My cellphone was a tracking device. I couldn’t be gone an hour without that all too familiar call of ‘where are you? When will you be back?’
It drove me to the point of madness, not like crazy madness. Just that state of mind. I was irritable and always in a horrible mood. I felt trapped and smothered. I know that a committed relationship is a big step.
Living together is a must but then it comes to the point when you suffer emotionally from the strain that the relationship puts on you I think it’s time to walk away. But the person I lived with didn’t want to take me for my word that I was unhappy and wanted a break. So, what was I to do?
How was I supposed to make them see? What was it going to take?
When I decided that I had finally had enough I did the only thing I could do. I booked a flight back to Georgia and decided that was where I was going to stay. Even after saying that I was done, just finished and couldn’t take anymore he still called trying to change my mind. ‘I’ll change, I’ll be better.’
I still couldn’t deal with the fact that he simply wasn’t hearing me. I mean how many ways can a person say that they need space before the other person gets the hint?
And of course, I was made out to be the bad one. I was causing him pain and I didn’t care about him. That’s all he ever cared about; his well-being. If I was unhappy it was ok because it didn’t affect him, and my problems were mine to work through on my own. There was no US unless HE was happy.
Every friend I talked to told me the same thing. Get out and walk away!
So, would you? Would you leave a relationship after you’ve tried talking to the person and explaining your unhappiness and they still wouldn’t listen?
Would you feel better after suffering months of mental and emotional abuse to finally walk out and gain back your freedom and sense of self-worth?
I suffered from relationship abuse, don’t let the same thing happen to you. If you’re fighting for your sanity and trying to keep yourself from going crazy; take my advice and leave while you can. Don’t stay trapped.