For most of my life, I had naturally awkward hair. I didn't do anything unusual to it. I showered at night and washed my hair every night, and woke up in the morning and brushed my hair. And every day of my life, it looked awful. There would be wavy sections, straight sections, and tight ringlets, all interspersed at random, and 100% of it would be frizzy. I didn't know why it wouldn't just be sleek and straight like every other girl's hair, and I was too busy with my life to find out, so a high ponytail became my everyday go-to look and when I needed to look nice, I would just straighten it. I hated it, but I chose to be thankful I had hair at all and carried on with my life.
Earlier this summer, living alone in a different state, I had time to think about and research my hair problem. I don't remember what made me wonder, but I do remember a sudden occurrence out of nowhere: what if my hair is curly? It hit me like a ton of bricks because it seemed like such a basic, fundamental thing not to know about myself for 22 years, yet it made so much sense. I got on the internet and did some research about curly hair and how to care for it. I ended up experimenting with several different curly hair creams, but even the first confirmed that I had been caring for my hair incorrectly my whole life. I finally settled on one that was actually intended for African-American women because it has natural ingredients and doesn't make my hair sticky or crunchy. Every day now, I shower at night, wake up in the morning, and work my curl sculpting cream through my hair (I've learned through trial and error that for me, my best results are when I apply the cream to my hair when it's dry.)
My hair is technically a form of wavy, 2B or 2C (depending on the day) to be specific. Ever since I started caring for my hair properly, I have noticed that certain comments and questions tend to come up time and time again. My intention is not to try to make people with curly hair out to be a special interest group or the victims of social persecution, but to poke a little bit of fun at human predictability.
1. "Is that your real hair?"Giphy
Yes, it's real. Do I look like the type of person to get up at 5 am just to wind every strand of my hair around a wand?
2. "How do you get it like that?"Giphy
God did this, so probably ask Him. (But in seriousness, I work my curl sculpt cream into it and pray for the best.)
3. "Can I touch it?"Giphy
Sure, but there's a lot of product in it so however you were expecting it to feel, it probably won't feel like that. Also, thank you for asking first. Some people apparently mistake me for a poodle and just start petting.
4. "Do you have one of those donut things in your hair?"
Often when I wear my hair in a bun, I can count on this question. No, I just have a lot of hair and it takes up a lot of room.
5. "Does anyone in your family have hair like that?"Giphy
Yes, they do. That's often how genetics works.
6. "How do you brush it?"Giphy
I don't. I don't even have a hairbrush.
7. "Why don't you straighten it more?"Giphy
Because to me, healthy long curly hair is much prettier than damaged, breaking straight hair. It isn't worth it. Plus, I like myself the way I am.
8. "Did you hear about that dating website lady who says that men prefer straight hair?"Giphy
I don't need to attract men plural. Polygamy isn't my particular cup of tea. If there's one guy out there who doesn't mind my hair, that's all it takes--and I have it on good evidence that such guys do exist.
9. "My cousin's granddaughter's coworker's gerbil's former roommate has curly hair too!"Giphy
Good for them.
10. "Have you tried the Curly Girl Method?"Giphy
Anything that won't let me wash my hair every single day of my life isn't gonna do it for me, thanks. Yes, I've heard of training my hair. No, I'm not interested. I'm also mildly grossed out.
11. "Your hair is so pretty!"Giphy
Let's be honest, this one is the most common by far, because most people are nice and I appreciate it!