Rejection Is Only Negative When You Don't Have An Open Mind

Rejection Is Only Negative When You Don't Have An Open Mind

It's only negative when you don't have an open mind about it.

T Bone
T Bone
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I cannot count the number of times I've been told "no". Not on one finger, not even on two, probably not even on my toes either. As a child growing up, I hated rejection! It made me feel shut out; almost like it was done on purpose just to get a negative reaction out of me, or make me feel like I was not good enough.

As I transitioned from a little girl to a teenager, then a young adult, I realized that rejection does not exist to make you feel bad about yourself, but instead to give you room and time to improve; hell even to realize that what you may think you want to happen may not be what is really meant for you.

I started applying for jobs at age 15. I did not actually get one until I was 18 going on 19; it was after my first full year of college. I ALWAYS applied, even went to locations and spoke to managers, that was not the issue. Their response to me was always "sorry we are not interested at this time" or no response at all. I am so thankful for my mother! She always taught me to never get discouraged, and just keep going until I got that golden "yes".

However, after so long of hearing "no", it's hard not to think about why no one wants you, or why your hard work isn't meeting up to their standards. It is hard to not feel like a failure when all you hear is "no", "no thanks", "maybe next time"...WHY NOT NOW?! Why can't things just be so easy and days run so smooth, that would be great!

Looking back on it, I am thankful for those "no's" and "not at this time". Why? Because it made me work even harder to get what I want. My persistence has increased tremendously and has stayed throughout the years because of rejection. Life is a huge obstacle course; rejection is one of those obstacles. You have to either fight through it or roll around feeling sorry for yourself. Which one will you choose?

P.S. Feeling sorry for yourself will not improve your situation, only keep you in it.

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We ALL Have Some Kind Of Disability, Even If We Don't Acknowledge It

Sometimes we fail to recognize our disabilities simply because we have learned to live with them; yet, we criticize those who have visible disabilities even though they too have learned to live with them.
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Many of us have probably heard the famous saying: "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

What many of us probably don’t realize is how true this may be in our own lives.

Everyone has something that may disable them from doing things that others can do.

Disabilities can be physical or mental. Maybe you have asthma, a speech impediment or a phobia. While these things may disable individuals from doing certain tasks, these are all disabilities that one can learn to easily live with.

Other disabilities are more visibly noticeable, such as limb amputations, lung diseases that require one to use an oxygen concentrator or scoliosis.

Regardless of how visible our disabilities may be, we need to recognize that we all have things that may disable us.

Notice that I said, “may disable us.” This is where "turning lemons into lemonade" comes into play. Just because something has the potential to disable us doesn’t mean that we must let it do so.

Yes, there will be things that we may be physically unable to do regardless of how hard we try. However, that doesn’t mean that we cannot find ways to adapt. Humans can be stubborn and that’s not a bad thing.

Stubbornness may allow us to overcome our disabilities.

My grandmother had three amputation surgeries last summer, the last being a below-knee amputation. I have quickly learned where my stubbornness comes from as I have watched her recover.

She has quickly learned to adapt to the new methods she must use to do daily tasks such as moving around the house.

My grandmother has learned how to live her life as if nothing has changed; it is as if she does not even have a disability.

It is easy to see that my uncle, David, is physically different than the average person. His Down Syndrome causes him to be shorter, and he has distinct facial characteristics that differ from the average person.

What you may also notice, if you meet David, is that he doesn’t let these physical differences dictate his life. If you asked him, David wouldn’t know that anything is different with himself. It’s not that he has been sheltered from the fact that he is different.

He simply has learned how to live with his differences and has family members that are willing to support him.

One of my friends has Spina Bifida and, sadly, has faced unjust situations because of their disabilities. As a college student, it is very difficult for my friend to find transportation to classes.

One transportation company will only provide their services when an individual lives 500 feet from a bus stop; unfortunately, my friend does not.

Nevertheless, my friend is resilient and is taking online courses so that they may further their education.

I dare to say that everyone has something that may disable them. However, I also dare to say that many individuals do not recognize their disabilities simply because they have learned to adapt.

If everyone has something that may disable them, why do we criticize those whose disabilities are more visible?

I challenge you to reflect on your own life. Reflect on the things that may disable you. Reflect on how you have overcome the things that try to disable you. Reflect upon the judgment that you have unjustly given others due to their disabilities.

It is easy to laugh at someone else when they are struggling with something that we could easily do ourselves. But it is difficult when we are the ones being laughed at.

The next time you consider criticizing someone else because of their disabilities, remember that you, too, have things that may disable you.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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Whatever (Or Whoever) Rejects You Makes You Stronger

College and rejection go hand in hand.

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It happens every time: the same sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach while your eyes skim over the words "We regret to inform you…" or "We are unable to admit you at this time". Rejection comes in many forms, whether it be in the opening lines of a depressing email or in the simple lack of your name on a list that you knew you should have been on. It never gets easier to look at these supposed failures on your part; you never realize how easy it is to blame yourself for not getting onto a cast list for a play or into a certificate program for your major (both scenarios I have gone through this past month) until you start questioning why you weren't good enough.

For me, high school was relatively rejection-free. I breezed through auditions for the school musicals and got the parts I wanted. I got into all of the colleges I applied to except for one. Both of my prom dates for junior and senior year were settled quickly and without hassle. I certainly had my fair share of disappointments and drama throughout my high school years, but for the activities I was most passionate about, I found myself to be doing pretty well.

Of course, college life tends to show you a sneak peek of the real world, and I certainly received my wake-up call. Suddenly I was applying to leadership positions and auditioning for musicals at college and swiftly getting turned down. Needless to say, I was discouraged. What am I doing wrong? I asked myself after I wasn't called back for a role in a play I really wanted. Am I not good enough? The adjustment from doing well in the proverbial "small pond" of high school to seemingly failing in the "big pond" of a major university was something I struggled with freshman year and something I still struggle with.

With each rejection, whether it be from a director, a club, or even a boy over text, I felt disappointed, angry, and sad. But rejection tends to help us more than harm us, even if we don't believe it in the moment. With each rejection came a new opportunity for me: where I may have been involved in a musical, I found a really awesome music group to be a part of. Where I may have gotten into a certificate program, through my rejection, I got an opportunity to write for the school paper. I realize now that rejection opens the doors we ignored when putting our sole focus on something else. Rejection doesn't break us down; it makes us stronger.

So, to all of the college students out there feeling ready to give up after hearing yet another "no", don't. A "yes" may be just around the corner.

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