I’ve spent this school year working my butt off. And I’m not saying other people haven’t. I don’t want to imply that I think I deserve anything more than other people do. But that being said, I am exhausted.

I’m annoyed most of the time as soon as I wake up because I’ve been doing so much on campus every day that when I have free time, I’ve still been swamped. I’ve been studying at work, working out my work schedule in class, and doing classwork at my RSO. Everything has overlapped to the point where I was doing only the essential school work, and only when there was practically no time left to do it except 2AM.

I’ve been living in the library and haven’t checked out something I want to read in months. I’ve been focused on doing laundry before I get home so I won't have to do laundry as soon as I get home. I’ve been so stressed that I haven’t even begun to let it set in that my roommate moved out today and in another day, I’ll be in a house I haven’t spent more than a couple days in, in total.

All around, I’ve felt like I’ve been stretched too thin without ever admitting it.

And now, I’m not even mad that my only real responsibilities are few and far between. I have my work schedule worked out, but I’m not worried about work. I’m not mad at myself for not having an internship, or a perfect beach body, or a semester abroad. I’m ready to sit on my porch and read a good book. Maybe I’ll decrease my Netflix “To watch” list a little more. Go to a museum. Ride in my friend’s car with no destination. I’m ready to act like this summer is going to be the best one yet.

I’m excited to go get lunch with my grandparents and ask my grandma to teach me to make apple pie. I can’t wait to not have board game club meetings to plan and coordinate and have some space to breathe planning next semester. I’m excited to delegate tasks and act like a president instead of making the title mean that I need to shoulder everything. Oh, and I’ll have game nights still, anyway.

I want to act like I have some idea of what I want to do and make plans to "adult" next summer. I want to plan ahead without the strain of making everything work right this second. I want to stop being anxious and overthinking how things could work out and focus on letting things work out the way they will anyway.

I can’t wait to write letters to my friend in the Navy and Facebook message my best friend in Miami and play What Do You Meme on my roommate-turned-friend’s floor while we talk about how excited we are about next year living on the same floor. We don’t want any drama next year, and I’ve accepted not living together won’t be the end of the world.

It's all going to be okay.