In all of my classes, at least one or two girls in their late teens or early twenties are engaged. That's a really young age to make a life-long commitment to someone. Feelings you have now may not last forever. You're still growing and figuring things out. There's a lot about yourself that you're still discovering, and there's a lot about the world that you don't know. How can you commit yourself to someone when you're not totally sure of who you are or what you want? You might have an idea of what you want, but what if that changes? We're going to mature and grow as people throughout college and especially right after. What if you and your partner grow apart? I know you want to make things work, but you can do that without getting engaged and getting married right away.

In a few years or less you and your fiance will both be looking for jobs. What if you don't end up in the same place? Is one of you willing to give up your opportunity and follow your partner? Are you willing to do long-distance? Don't give up your dreams to marry someone. You shouldn't have to choose between the two.

In college, there are plenty of people in long-term, serious relationships who know they want to marry their partner, but they aren't engaged. Why rush into things? If you know you want to be together forever, then what difference does it make if you get engaged now or get engaged five years down the road when you're both in a more stable place? Getting engaged will not fix your relationship if there are problems. It won't make the cheater stop cheating. Ring or no ring, if you both are committed and serious, you should be able to work through things together.

One problem with not being engaged is that living together before marriage is somewhat controversial, especially in the South. It's understandable. Sometimes moving in before the serious commitment of being engaged or married can ruin relationships. What happens if you move in together, break-up, and then are stuck in a lease together? I think it's worse, however, if you get married, move in together, and then realize you can't make living with that person work. Wouldn't you have wanted to know earlier that you guys aren't as compatible as you thought? Yes, moving in together is a big deal, but it can help you save money which is a major strain for couples who marry young. It's easier to wait to get engaged than to get married young and end up getting divorced. Give yourself time to figure all of that out because no one wants to live with regret.