Being in recovery can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. There is recovery for drug abuse, alcohol, eating disorders, and other illnesses and abuses.

Whether you are just starting out or are 5 years in, recovery is a lifelong commitment.

Now, I know it can seem scary to those who have no idea what recovery is or have never had to recover from something. But you will never truly understand what recovery is like unless you've lived through it. Unless you've had to overcome your own thoughts and rebuild yourself from the ground up.

For me, recovery has been a slow and demanding process. When I first got out of treatment for my eating disorder, I became extremely depressed. I was sick, tired, and didn't want to talk to anyone. I was trying to figure out my purpose and where I belonged all in the few months before I had to go back to school for my third year of college.

Life stops for no one.

I had always had to deal with anxiety and the eating disorder, but now there was this darkness over everything. I had to learn how to live my life without the one thing I had been using to get through each day. Now, I didn't have the empty stomach and controlling thoughts to occupy my time. I had to deal with what I was feeling. I had to deal with the difficult things in my life that I had ignored for so long.

The eating disorder, the obsession, had allowed me to cope with the shitty stuff going on in my life.

I'm not saying all situations are the same, but through my time at treatment, I learned that many of the people that were there because they had traumatic experiences.

Whether its drugs, alcohol or some other form of abuse or obsession- the person is trying to cope with something. It may start as a choice, but it quickly spirals into something out of the person's control.

So, try to imagine recovery. You no longer have that coping mechanism you've had for years; that you are used to having with you at all times, that people are used to you having, that has made surviving possible. Now, it's a world you know, but you are completely different.

All your parts are the same. You have the same skin that bruises in the same way. And the same handwriting that can still ink poetry. But it all gets mixed up somehow. Now, you have to find a way to fit into the world again and each day is just trying to fit.

Maybe it's going out to eat with your friends or going 3 months without a drink or even just getting out of bed.

Trying to find the normal.

Trying to find yourself again.

If you or someone you know is trying to overcome an addiction or past trauma, the strongest thing to do is to speak up and do something about it.

National Eating Disorders Helpline: (800) 931-2237

Substance Abuse Helpline: 1-800-487-4889

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255