I’m sure we’ve all been at a point in our lives where we’ve contemplated a relationship we have with someone; whether it was a relationship with someone you were committed to, a close friend, or even your own family—you just know when things aren’t going right between you and that person.

Chances are if it’s a recurring thing, and let’s say these recurring things are causing excessive friction, disagreements, and slight rifts in your attachment to “said” person, you just may have a toxic person/ relationship in your life.

Often times, most of us will choose to ignore the vital signs because of the closeness of the relationship and let’s be honest here, if someone has been a huge part of your life for 5+ years it is MOST DEFINITELY not easy letting them go.

You may find yourself constantly looking back on the “good times”, but what you have to understand is that people change and sometimes things can never be what they once were. I can vouch for how hard this is because I’ve been through my own personal situation of having to close the door on a toxic friendship. In cases like that, there truly is never a right time to say goodbye, but there comes a point where it’s necessary for your overall well-being.

Recognizing the signs you have someone toxic in your life shouldn’t be hard, but when your judgment is clouded by denial of the fact that this person could ever do or say such things, you could find yourself being naive to what/who you’re really dealing with.

Contrary to this, you could also find yourself telling yourself that “they’ll change” and sticking around only hoping that things will get better—when In fact they only get worse. That was me. In my case, the girl and I had been friends since elementary school and I didn’t want to even picture us not being friends and I figured that we could just bounce back from the tonight patch we were in like we always had.

Boy, was I wrong.

Instead of my taking initiative to just walk away from the friendship while I could, I stuck around “hoping” things would get better only to see that blow up in my face and having the worst fallout ever with her. I wish I hadn’t ignored the signs and went with what I knew was the right thing to do. But hey, you live and you learn. Consider the questions below if you ever feel like you’re dealing with a toxic relationship/friendship:
Is this person supportive?

If that boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, etc. is brining more negativity to you than positivity to you then you definitely don’t need them in your life. Telling you that “you can’t do something” and making you feel inferior to any goals you may have might just be a reflection of their jealousy or intimidation towards you. They themselves know they couldn’t execute something you may be planning to do and instead of encouraging you, motivating you, and maybe even offering to help you succeed, they’ll try to belittle you and your plans. Um hello, where’s the support at?

Do you find yourself venting or talking about them a lot?

Whatever the case may be, if you’re using any and every opportunity to discuss them or issues you may be having with them speaks volumes on your relationship with that person. If you can’t even sit down with the source about your issues with them because they’re making a mockery of your feelings and even justifying their actions, well that’s an even bigger problem. Where do some people get off thinking they can dictate how you should and shouldn’t feel about something they have said or done that’s hurt you? If they can’t even understand your feelings and can’t give you a simple “I’m sorry” it’s time to cut ties with them.

Are they affecting your self-esteem?

There would be several occasions I would be hanging out with my ex-best friend and other people she knew and I would be pressured into participating in things they were doing that I just honestly had no interest in. I was called “lame” because my willpower to say no is stronger than succumbing to things that were the norm to her and her other friends; I know it was just a silly comment but it did make me feel some type of way and it even made me question my values. Any companion in your life whether it be a friend or significant other should be building you up not pressuring you OR tearing you down for saying “no” to something. If they’re making you feel down about yourself and your morals then you should probably advise them to hit the road.

Whenever I look back on my relationship with my ex-best friend and get to the root of why I chose to continue to put myself through the turmoil of what was becoming an unhealthy friendship, it was soley because I was afraid of being alone and not having that "go-to" person anymore. She was my go-to if I wanted someone to grab something to eat with me, my go-to for advice, my go-to if needed someone to just cry to, my go-to for just about anything, and I had convinced myself that I wouldn't find that in anyone else. So I had to stick it out and let whatever phase we were going through pass over, and it did...but it ended our friendship completely. I knew it was coming though, but I wasn't sure how or when it would happen.

Take it from me, don't be in denials about your situation, because that can only hurt you even more in the long run if you choose to continue to stand by that person.

Trust me, I KNOW. If you've even had other people (i.e. other friends, family, etc.) telling you that you need to let that person in your life go, then it'd be best to take their advice into consideration and do just that: chances are they're only telling you this good intentions in mind. Follow your instincts and do the right thing. Let that person go once and for all.