It is the cruelest thing to suffer because of one's own inactions. Fear puts us in a dream-like state; we envision what we want without taking risks. It’s toxic and will eat you alive, or sometimes it will drag you under until you can't even fathom achieving anything. Fear is the uninvited visitor to your doorstep but is not something that can be fought off with fists. It sits in each of us waiting to build the wall higher until you can't see your potential. For me, the hardships that I had to endure, like the fear of rejection and failure, was what hindered me from moving forward.

It was not until recently that I began to realize that my life would not move forward until I did. Moments before I typed this I was fearful that my writing was not worthy enough to be seen by anyone. That’s when I came to the realization that the only thing stopping me from achieving my dreams is myself. I got so caught up on pointing fingers and blaming the universe that I became blinded by my own excuses. For the longest time, I would've rather punched a glass wall then admit that I cause some of the roadblocks in my life. Fear is still in me; it’s thriving and I am slowly learning to embrace it. I am learning that when I come across an opportunity that causes my nervousness to arise deep within, I have found the next moment to better myself.

I have been on this earth for almost twenty years and I am just now discovering where some of my fears derive from. But as I look into the mirror late at night I wonder, “What do I want?” or, “What sparks my fire?” It’s an endless “What If?” connected to thoughts of impending doom and failure. That’s the funny thing about it though. It's just thoughts. The low-lying fog that sits in our brains, begging us to not try something new, isn't a manifestation of anything real. You are the only person stopping yourself from living a fulfilled life. It will be hard to pry yourself away from the safety of your home, whether you define that as physical or the by not thinking about it. You know you're heading in the right direction when fear crosses your path.

As of now, I am learning to live with fear, who plays the role of an acquaintance or an old friend. Sadly we cannot eradicate fear and I am okay with that. There is nothing wrong with pushing yourself out your comfort zone to get where you want to be in life. Fear can become a motivator or it can help you find your inner power.

When I shifted myself out of my comfort zone it created homesickness. I became uncomfortable and I yearned to crawl back to the barrier that I made for myself. I have decided to start living with my goals in mind instead of a letting fear win. I do not want to live a life of regret and uncertainty.