And thus begins the downfall of Kaitlyn Bristowe.
We knew this was coming, and now it’s finally here. “The Bachelorette” is getting ready to crucify a grown woman for having consensual sex with an adult man. The horror! If we can deduce anything from this development, it’s that slut-shaming seems to be in this season.
This week’s episode was the calm before the storm. Despite Joshua’s antagonism towards Nick and Ian’s spectacular meltdown, it was a relatively peaceful episode, given the circumstances. Nick moves in with the guys, and after some tough interrogation by Tanner and Joshua (“Is she a cool chick or an amazing woman?”), the guys seemed to eventually calm down and respect Kaitlyn’s decision to bring Nick on, even if they may not agree with it.
After Kaitlyn eliminates Corey, Ryan B. (I have never seen him in my life) and Jonathan, Kaitlyn and the guys continue their journey to find love in the exotic location of San Antonio, Texas. Is it just me, or is the “Bachelorette” travel budget dwindling? Regardless, everyone feigns excitement and the group flies to Texas, where Ben H. has the first one-on-one date. Kaitlyn picks him up in an old car, which seems to be the most extravagant activity the producers can think up this season. She takes him to Gruene Hall, Texas’ oldest dance hall, where they participate in a dance competition with some kindly old folks. Later on, Ben H. shares some intimate information about his previous relationship, but Kaitlyn’s confessionals mostly revolve around how hot he is, which he is, but still. Kaitlyn rewards his trust in her with a rose, which in effect, says “oh, you trust me enough to tell me close personal details of your life, despite my continual disrespect towards you and the other guys? Good boy.”
The group date for this week is, unsurprisingly, just as painful to watch as every other group date this season. Kaitlyn takes Ben Z., Tanner, Joe, Ian, JJ, Joshua, and Nick into San Antonio to perform mariachi love songs for her. But before that, we meet Sebastian, a 12-year-old mariachi singer who is both smarter and more talented than anyone on this show. (Besides Ian. He went to Princeton.) The guys then take turns making a complete abomination of a beautiful and culturally significant art form. Despite Ian’s insistence that he is God’s gift to music, he chokes (again) and it’s amazing. Joe is bad at literally everything. Nick gets up on the balcony and sings about how Kaitlyn gives him erections, which is possibly the best foreshadowing this show has ever given us. It also confirms my theory that Nick is a certified creeper and somehow keeps getting away with it. Even the guys are warming up to him,well, besides Joshua.
Later that night, Joshua lets Kaitlyn give him a really bad haircut and everything starts heading downhill. Joshua goes out on a limb and tells Kaitlyn how much everyone hates Nick, only to have no one back him up when Kaitlyn confronts the guys. It’s supremely awkward, but the most infuriating part about it is that Joshua’s antics make Nick look like the victim here, which he most certainly is not. Nick gets the group date rose, and I threw a pillow at my TV. (Side note: Kaitlyn should be paying more attention to Tanner, who is clearly the best contestant left. But she doesn’t, preferring instead to fawn over Nick, which doesn’t make me trust her judge of character.)
Speaking of trust, let’s talk about the Shawn one-on-one. Despite his hesitations after Nick’s arrival, Shawn decides to keep his guard down and tell Kaitlyn the horrific details of a gruesome car accident he was in a few years ago. The accident left him comatose and he spent months recovering in the hospital. It’s a miraculous story by all accounts and Shawn should have died in the crash. But I found Kaitlyn’s response incredibly off-putting; she listens to his story and then immediately tells him how much more “attracted” she is to him after hearing it. Seriously, Kaitlyn? I understand that attraction is a big deal for her, but I find it odd that her first reaction to Shawn’s story is to tell him how turned on she is by it.
This is where I have begun to take issue with some of Kaitlyn’s words and actions on the show. Both Ben H. and Shawn give Kaitlyn personal insight into their lives this week, and both instances are pretty uncomfortable to watch. It just doesn’t feel as though Kaitlyn particularly deserves these guys’ trust. We constantly hear her talk about how seriously she takes this, and yet we simultaneously see her make out with almost every bachelor in every episode. This is a sharp deviation from past seasons where kissing has traditionally been more of a momentous occasion, not a commonplace occurrence. Moreover, Kaitlyn disrespected the guys’ wishes by committing the great Bachelorette sin of adding Nick onto the show, after repeatedly telling the guys in prior episodes that she “sees her husband in this room.”
Criticism towards Kaitlyn is augmented by the fact that the remaining bachelors are, for the most part, pretty patient and forgiving with her. The guys were initially bothered by Nick’s entrance into the show, but most of them quickly move on in this week’s episode; choosing to put it in the past and focus on their own “relationships” with Kaitlyn. In seasons past, when there has been drama like this on the show, the Bachelor/Bachelorette attempts to deflect attention away from the drama in order to focus on cultivating genuine relationships with the contestants. In this case, we frequently see Kaitlyn bring up discussions of Nick and the other guys in the house. She uses her precious time with each individual bachelor to talk about Nick, and the guys often seem uncomfortable by her inquiries, but they eventually give in because they actually seem to genuinely care about her.
The one glaring exception to this rule is, of course, Ian, who seems to have come down with a case of Kupah. Kaitlyn isn’t into Ian, and he’s not happy about it. After all, he did go to Princeton, is a former model, and has defied death. He’s all a girl should ever want in life. So obviously, the fact that Kailtyn hasn’t dropped everything and married Ian already just proves that there’s something wrong with Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn isn’t even that hot. Ian has tons of sex and is perfect and brilliant in every way. Seriously, Ian’s attitude bears a striking similarity to the Douchebags of OkCupid and guys whose first response to rejection is overt misogyny. There’s been some speculation that Ian was paid off by the producers to express his dissatisfaction and potentially leave the show, which wouldn’t surprise me but has yet to be confirmed.
So, it’s safe to say that Ian will most likely depart from the show next week. Other than that, next week’s sex drama will be the focus, and we will be enlightened about the dangers of allowing two consenting adults to engage in sexual relations. Let the slut-shaming begin.
