Reasons why You Haven't been able to put yourself first

Reasons why You Haven't been able to put yourself first

It's time to throw these ideas out of our heads and focus on ourselves. It can be hard to say no to extra things on our plates and relationships taking up too much time but you need to grow as an individual during these amazing years.


Why don't we always put ourselves first? Let's start with relationships. We seem to always and when I say always, I mean it. We seem to always be putting relationships before ourselves.

I feel like we are constantly trying to push our significant others to greater heights...and what if you lose sight of your own? In relationships we let this other person take up all of our time, all of our energy, and all of our thoughts. When was the last time you had no one to text, left your phone in your bag and just took a walk? I don't just mean it's okay to put yourself first for your future and career but I also mean for personal time and getting to know YOURSELF better.

So why don't we put ourselves first and how can we change that?

We think self-care means being selfish

When we are being pulled in a million different directions, we think that we can't say no. We always feel we need to please everyone and I am so beyond done with that. This year I have picked out individual things I want to do to stay involved and the rest had to go. I needed to figure out how to have time to myself to do things I enjoy doing and be stress free. Wanting to take care of yourself isn't selfish. It's selfish to neglect yourself and your body and what it needs to stay healthy and happy.

We expect others to take care of us

Especially as we are getting older, the best thing you can do to put yourself first is to release the people taking care of you. You need to learn how to do these things alone and get confident with fending for yourself. When you are able to rely on only yourself you can put yourself and your true needs first. What do you actually enjoy? Do you like cooking? Do you have certain routines you've created for yourself? At some point, we have to go off and do this world on our own. It's better to start now and be confident.

We don't realize our worth

I think one of the largest reasons why we don't put ourselves first is because we don't see our own worth. It honestly is a very very long journey to finding your own personal worth. Everyone's path is so different. I recently feel I am just coming to the point where I fully see my self worth and feel I am at a great point in my life to be happy for myself and where I am at. But, once you do just a couple of even small things for yourself, and enjoy it - I feel it will get easier for you to do things on your own and for yourself and that's one of the first steps to realizing your worth and how amazing you truly are.

It is OKAY to put yourself first and take the first leap to finding out who you really are. It's okay to say no so you can take a walk or cook a great meal for yourself or watch your favorite show on Netflix. It can seem like a lot to have yourself be at the center and can be scary but you need it. It's time to say yes, to you!

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.

Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs. In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm..

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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Being Ugly

What it means to me


Due to a series of ongoing events throughout my semester, I've reconsidered what it means for someone to truly be ugly. Though it is often used in terms of appearance, I do not see it as such-- now more than ever. Ugliness runs deeper than appearance-- it runs within one's soul and festers into other areas of one's life, particularly in their treatment of others.

I view ugliness as someone's conscious capacity and implementation of malice. Taking time and energy out of your day to hurt someone else, that's what I view as ugly. Some offenses are more minor than others, however, it is still a conscious effort to hurt or affect someone else negatively-- and that's the source of the problem. I truly wonder what causes that sort of behavior in someone, as I, along with most people, simply do not invest time or energy into hating or plotting against others. It seems like a full-time job.

I can theorize all sorts of reasons as to why someone would act this way: hate, jealousy, vengeance, etc. Yet, all of these reasons don't hit the root reason. It almost seems that some people are just innately ugly in their soul. This alludes to the timeless debate of whether one's personality is due to nature or nurture. Again, although our surroundings and environment do have a large effect in our behavior, that alibi only goes so far when multiple people are placed in the same environment, in the same situation, and only some are willing to cross moral boundaries in order to hurt the others. Just because an environment applies pressure to people, does not mean everyone is going to act out in malice, and it certainly does not give everyone an excuse to do so. Some people are simply conniving and, well, ugly inside.

If you have ever encountered people like this, I know from personal experience that it is such a drag. You have an enemy, essentially, whether you chose to or not, however based on their hatred towards you, they are now considered an enemy, a hater, and any other associated term. Know that they will do anything in their power to bring you down, even if it requires bending the truth and creating elaborate schemes, but you have to keep on doing you. Let them obsess over ways to bring you down. At the end of the day, their time and energy is being invested into bringing you down, while yours is being used to build yourself up. They will fall by default. So, keep your head high, act in grace, and make your money. They can sip on their Haterade and watch from below.

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