Neo-Nazis just made the hottest comeback of 2017 and dropped their new singles "We Thought That We Should Be More Upfront With Our Racism Since You Didn't Get The Hints" and "It Started With A Strict Immigration Policy." But don't worry, everyone. Just because one of the most corrupt political parties in the world has gained some new followers, doesn't mean it has to be a bad thing. Here are six reasons why American Nazism won't be too terrible.
1. Total annihilation and white domination
White people, the true heroes and founders of the New World, will once again take back the country that they built on the backs of slaves and the graves of Native Americans.
2. Alt-right is all right!
Neo-Nazi and alt-right college students can finally express their supremacist views without feeling scared that their liberal classmates will disagree with them. No one should ever feel afraid to be who they are (except if they’re gay).
3. No more discrimination
There's no way Americans can be prejudiced or discriminatory if everyone's white and perfect! Once the Nazis weed out the Jews, blacks, Muslims, gays, disabled, women, people who have pet ferrets, lesbian fashion, and baby tomatoes, there will be no room for hate!
4. No more terrorism
Once all the Muslims are COMPLETELY ERADICATED from this country, they can’t terrorize the whites anymore. Haha, allahuak-bye!
5. Resolving minor problems
White people will have their well deserved social dominance restored once the Nazi regime is reinstated. Lately, it's honestly been heartbreaking to see whites moving closer to becoming minorities in the U.S. Whites can't become minorities; minorities are treated like crap in this country!
6. A pure, clean, openly racist society
Incarcerating thousands of black people every year just isn't enough anymore. Just get them out already. The whites won't have to worry about malicious melanin infiltrating their neighborhoods and blacks probably have more family in Africa. It's a win-win situation.
Disclaimer: This piece is satirical and I do not at all support Nazism.