Sometimes we don't realize the impact we have on those around us, just by simply being who we were created to be. Sure, we hear it all the time, that we should be ourselves. But for some, it's hard to fulfill that saying when we are not confident in who we are.
Personally speaking, I have struggled and at times and still find myself struggling with being “too hard” on myself. It's so easy for me to go on my phone or turn on the TV and see "examples" of what I should be like. And when I find myself not living up to those expectations I've placed on myself and the "examples" I see in the media, I beat myself up about it.
Why is it so hard for us to be ourselves? Why are we so afraid to let the world see our true selves? Who would we really hurt by being happy in our own skin? These are all questions that I've asked myself over and over again, trying to come to some logical conclusion of why being who we were created to be is so difficult. Is it because we care about what other people think of us more than we care about what we think of ourselves? Is it because maybe we have tried to be ourselves and have been shot down before?
I believe that I have finally figured out the answer to those questions. I personally think that it is hard for us to be ourselves because we sometimes view ourselves through the distorted lens of negativity. I don't mean negativity from people or even negativity on social media, I mean the negativity from ourselves.
Just think about how cruel we can be to ourselves in our heads when we don't ace that test or get that job. Snarky comments to ourselves on the daily may seem harmless in the moment, but think of the damaging effects it can have on our self-esteem when it becomes a "norm" for us to put ourselves down.
I think it's important that we treat ourselves the way we treat our best friends. Would we ever call our best friend stupid when they don't get the grade they hoped for on a test? Or would we call our best friend ugly just because they're having a bad hair day? Hopefully the answers to both of the questions is of course not! And so if we wouldn't treat our best friend that way, why do we treat ourselves that way?
Coming down on ourselves goes a lot further than just insulting oneself in the moment. It drains us of our confidence to be ourselves and alters the view of our identity. The majority of us have heard the saying, “You are your biggest enemy”. That statement holds more truth than we realize.
Now that I've learned that what's stopping me from being who I am is myself, I can now fix it. Now I can make a conscientious effort to not condemn myself so much when I make an honest mistake. Now I can strive to treat myself the way I would treat my best friend.
Being ourselves is not just important for ourselves but for those around us as well! People may not tell you to your face, but sometimes just by being yourself you uplift and encourage other lives around you. What a good feeling it is to know that by embracing my individuality, I have brightened someone's day or inspired someone else to be their true self. I think at the end of the day, that is what is most important in life…that the simplicity of our existence can be used to uplift someone else!