Ever since I started college, which was almost three years ago, I've always been attracted to older guys. I was enamored by the fact that guys that are two to maybe ten years older than me have their shit together and know what they want in life.

Recently, my boyfriend of more than a year and I, decided to end our relationship last June. Heading into my junior year of college single, I decided to go back into the dating scene. The thing that sucks about being with someone for a long period of time is you try to find them in every person you meet afterwards. Honestly, that is what I was trying to do. I was trying so hard to find someone just like him.

I tried Tinder, OkCupid, etc just to replace the void I was feeling while trying to recover from this break up. Well, let's just say I met someone and his name was Tommy*. Tommy was an interesting guy. He is a computer programmer and 36 years old, which was 16 years my senior. You would wonder why Tommy would be interested in a 20 year old college student. In my opinion, I had no clue why this older gentleman was into me. However, I was very into him. I was just infatuated with the fact this older gentleman was wining and dining me. He had his shit together and knew what he wanted in life and wasn't afraid to get it.

As I got to know Tommy, he started to get infatuated with me too. He said he would never have guessed that I was 20 years old because I was so "mature" for my age. However, he thinks that the chemistry between us was very good because he wanted to be young and I wanted to be older. So we could help each other out in some way. It felt so good to be with someone again. I felt like I was needed again. Not the best way to fully get over a ex-boyfriend. It was just temporary.

Tommy and I had this summer fling. As September began to grow close, he would come up with excuses not to see me. Either it was work was getting busy or he said our schedules conflicted. We you basically go maybe like three weeks without talking to each other. I began to think that maybe he just wasn't interested and I would just go on with my life. Then he'd pop back into my life and say "Hope you didn't forget about me." As much as I wanted to just cut him off, I was automatically sucked back in.

It wasn't until one night, I got a call from him and I answered it. However, it wasn't him. It was a woman on the other end. This woman was claiming she was his wife and that I was a homewrecker and a whore. I've been the other woman before and it wasn't pretty. It has caused many trust issues with guys. However, this time was the cherry on the sundae. I was angry because I led on by this older guy, who thought he could take advantage of a young college student and live this double life. I was over it. I ended all contact with him. I went on with my life. School started and I just resumed doing me.

As the school year went by, I got a phone call by a private number. Guess who was on the other line when I answered? Tommy. I didn't want to hear anything. I didn't need him to apologize or beg me to be with him. I told him I am not being played once again. However, he stopped me as I was yelling at him. He told me that we could finally be together because him and his wife were getting a divorce. A divorce? I was shook. Was this man really getting a divorce because of me? He furthered explained how him and his wife got married at a young age and ever since it was a unhappily ever after. I felt bad but hey, I was lied to for a couple of months. I told him that I couldn't date him because I'd be known as the girl who basically broke up their marriage. Like oh no, honey.