My heart had not known this feeling until this moment.
God, this is already sounding dramatic.
You know that feeling when you finally experience positive emotions for once in your life? That is this moment. I've been hurt by so many men in the past that I've almost given up on finding the one. I was so convinced that he didn't exist, that he was some made up idea that had been planted in my mind as a way to cope with my loneliness. I was all set to renounce my worldly possessions and join an abbey as a nun but...that all changed.
When I met him.
I met him, and the feelings I thought I had lost came rushing back to me at once, overwhelming me to the point where I lost almost all my senses. He was a breath of fresh air to me: warm, caring, respectful, and honest. I could sit and talk to him for hours, about anything really. He made my heart flutter every time he looked at me or touched my hand, or when he would hug me and rub my back.
Yet, sometimes, my fears come clawing their way back up from the depths. I worry that I bore him, or that I come on too strong. I worry that he thinks I'm dumb, or that I don't think at all. But, when he looks at me, I don't know how to feel. His gaze is so calming, so soothing. It's like I just want to freeze that moment in time and keep it forever.
Although the seeds of his affections have been just planted within my heart, I can feel them starting to sprout. Their roots forming and taking shape with the soil of my soul. My hope is is that he feels the same way about me. Until then, I will allow myself to fall in love with him, to accept his compliments, and open my heart to him.
Who knows, maybe you'll all be invited to the wedding.