I’ve been in school since I was five years old. That means that I’ve been in school for the last 14 ½ years of my life. Which is like 75% of it. I know I keep repeating myself, but I’ve been in school for ¾ of my time on this earth and in the next two years, I’ll be done. That is incredibly scary to me.
There are always times in the school year where I can not wait to finally be finished with it all. I want to be done with the tests and the grades and the late nights devoted to finishing various projects. There are times when I imagine what my life will be like in five or ten years, and I want it to start now. I want to be out in the world at this very moment. I want to have a job that I love and live in a nice apartment in the city and just be happy. Then I realize how much those same thoughts also terrify me.
I start remembering all of the people who have told me throughout the years that life isn’t that easy. It can suck sometimes. Finding a job after college could take anywhere from four weeks to four years, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I can go through that many years of my life not being sure of where I’m headed.
My first year of college flew by, and this one seems to be going just as fast. I’m going to be done before I even know what hit me, and I want to know what’s going to happen next. I want to know that I’ll find a good job in a nice city and love every minute of it. I want to know that I’ll be okay.
I get that this is a tall order. Life is too unpredictable to ever really know what will happen next. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense. Sometimes it makes too much sense. Sometimes I start to get suspicious when things are going good for me, and I wonder when everything in my life will inevitably crash and burn and I'll just be sitting there watching it fall to pieces without being able to do anything to fix it.
It's times like these when I just really need my mom. I need her to tell me that it will all be okay even though I know she has no idea if it will or not. I need her to tell me that everything I’ve been working for, all of my dreams that I want to become a reality, will succeed. I need her to order a large cheese pizza (and possibly cinnamon sticks because yum) from Pizza Hut and watch a movie with me even though she’ll fall asleep within the first ten minutes.
No matter where my life takes me or how it ends up turning out, I know that my mom will always be a phone call away, and that's the most comforting thing I've ever heard in my life.