For most of my life, I've loved words. Words are powerful. Words are important. Words are expressive. I've always taken pride in my command of them. But lately, I've begun to resent them. They are not enough.

Let me rephrase. The words I have available to me are not enough.

"Interesting."

Ah, the ultimate placeholder. That thing you say when what you're thinking isn't exactly potable for the current company. The word that cushions a moment that could have been silent - not unlike an air mattress. It looks like a word, it has the veneer of a word. But there's nothing inside. But to say "fascinating" when you don't mean it, or "intriguing" when you're anything but intrigued practically guarantees an undertone of sarcasm or boredom. You don't mean for it to slip through, but it does. Interesting holds a bright, plastic-y patina. But what else can you say? Interesting means nothing. Anything else betrays the lie.

"Love."

This word should be enough. It should be enough. But the devaluing of this word is twofold. First, it's applied to everything. You can love sushi, you can love that one song you only listen to when it comes on the radio, you can love something you know nothing about, provided you don't say much else about it in conversation with someone who does. You can love just about anything. You don't have to feel it. You just have to say it.

On the other hand, in the face of trying to tell someone for whom you feel what's defied words for thousands of years... it, quite simply, is not enough.

"Friend."

Why is there nothing between "friend" and "lover"? No, really. Human relationships both span that distance in a near-infinite spectrum, and also defy it. So why is there no word for the person at work who is more than an acquaintance and not really all that close to you, but makes you laugh and makes the daily grind bearable? Why don't we have a term for a close creative collaborator, who's closer to family, but not in a way that makes you hate them half the time? Why is there no word for that person with whom you're not romantic, but share a deep, soulful, intimate bond? "Friend" is so casual, so general. It feels too fluffy for the closest people to us. It feels too weighty for those who tend to stay an arms' length away and are still always there.

"Real."

Insert this word into any sentence, and you find yourself questioning whether or not everything's all in your head.

"Real" food. "Real" talk. "Real" feelings. "Real" love. "Real" friends.

"Real" interesting.