College is a time of transition between being a fully dependent teenager and becoming the refined, independent adult that you will (hopefully) be.
It is a time to finally be responsible for yourself rather than your parents and teachers having total control. It is a time when all the decisions you grew up wishing were in YOUR hands, such as when you can skip class, when you can eat snacks between meals, and how late you can stay out on a “school night,” are up to you and you alone.
To all young, eager, and hopeful new college students, that first decision, you know the one when Sally suggests we all go down to the district on a TUESDAY night, and she doesn’t even suggest it until, GASP!, 10:00 at night. You automatically think that you can’t possibly do that because obviously you have school tomorrow, and you clearly will not be allowed—but wait, you no longer have to be allowed; there is no such thing as permission. I am my own authority. THIS. IS. AWESOME. That summer before freshman year and right through the fall and spring semesters, these are the actions that separate us from the high school kids; this independence is what makes us adults.
That is the moment we feel is the first grown-up moment, and it is exhilarating! Surely, there is no moment of realization stronger than this; this freedom is the stuff of dreams. It simply does not get anymore grown-up than doing whatever you want to do and still being responsible enough to make it to that Plants & Humans lab at 8:00 the next day, right? WRONG.
The REAL first grown-up moment is when you are home for the summer, with your parents and all their “permission," away from many of the friends you spent all-nighters with at school and even further away from the seductive appeal of being on your own.
It is an oxymoron, but the REAL first grown-up moment happens while you are doing something almost exactly as you did in high school, daydreaming about freshman year. Only now, unlike the hopeful and, let’s face it, UNDERrated ideas of how much fun college will be, this is the realization that one of the greatest times of your life is already over. Ironic, isn’t it?
The anticipation of freshman year—that which created a grown-up self perception of ourselves, does not truly make us a grown-up until it is over. Then, we realize one of life’s grand, spectacular times is done for us. There are no more exciting first parent-free decisions but rather the very real, very grown-up feeling that one of those “best time of my life” moments, or rather a whole year’s worth of moments, has already happened, and it will not ever happen to us again.
