Hello world, how are you doing? Too slow, my turn! I'm doing great, thanks for asking! I recently copped a full-time job that I enjoy, I've fulfilled the first level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs and some people seem to be digging these articles I've been writing. I've thought about if there are any negatives in my personal life, and besides the torsion, there are none worth griping about. Truly, everything's coming up Bobby. Then I got to thinking, "What if I died?" Haha, damn it. I immediately halted my cool-guy stuff (sticking a toothpick into a loaf of banana bread to test for optimal moisture) and had an existential crisis that was long overdue. People die every day, and I'm a people, so one of these days it's gonna be whoop, skirt, straight to the dirt. If I died today though, would I be okay with it? Although you may be fine with one less Bobby around, I honestly don't think I would be. I understand that my life is secondary to the operation of this universe, but there's a lot of good I think I can accomplish on Earth before I high-five Mr. Death. Or she.

Say what you will about death, but it's not all sunshine and rainbows. Perhaps the worst thing about death is not knowing when it's coming. In fact, my biggest fear is dying before I'm supposed to. Will death be early, late, unfortunately punctual? The anticipation is killing me. I wouldn't be surprised if I died in a car accident because I'm not a very good driver. I typically drive my car at least once a day, so this could be any time now. All the more reason to figure out what impact I want to have on people before I permanently bounce. Not exactly knowing what death is can also be a bummer. There are many different ideas as to what the afterlife is, but I think it would be cool if it were like a dream and I wouldn't know I was dead. It could also just be a state of unexistence; a plane of nothingness where the very concept of "nothing" is void, which is impossible for me to fathom because existence is all I know, because I don't recall knowing anything before I existed. Hmm. Does this mean I could be dead now and not know it? And if that's not the case and I'm still kicking, why bother living at all if we're all going to die?

I'm glad I asked! I'm of the mind that life is all I know, so I should try to make life as great as it can be for human beings. However, I don't currently have any power to influence mass change, so I just try to treat people with kindness and civility, and provide as much help as I can in everything I do in the hope that people will treat everyone they meet in the same way, and also educate their children to be great people. I wasn't always like this, it's a simple lifestyle I adopted during my first couple years of college, and some literature I read in my last couple semesters reinforced my ideas. Being eternally chipper won't solve the world's problems, like war, environmental destruction and a whole catalog of problematic phobias and -isms, but it feels like a good practice anyhow. The best part about this lifestyle is that it's not hard! And if you're looking to leave a legacy on Earth, your benevolent behavior might have long-term benefits without everyone having to know your name and face! Has my talk of genuine kindness and a message of love put a smile on your face? Good!

Getting back on topic: Death. If I died today all I could claim is that I said nice things to people sometimes, and maybe made somebody chuckle once a week. That's not enough for me to be content with dying, and I need to do more to benefit humankind before I find a comfortable deathbed to nap on. You can't stop me from getting nice on you, but I also need to recognize that there is some hatred in this world and some people might be immune to my attitude, calling me sentimental and naive. These people are in dire need of a hug.

Saving the world one hug at a time is sweet and all, but there are also a lot of basic desires I'd like to fulfill for myself before I shove off for Dead Island. My strongest desire is to travel and learn about different cultures. I've been living in the same house in Maryland for my entire life, and the farthest away I've been is Florida, but Disney World is an artificial landscape so that doesn't really count. Sorry, Mickey. Florida seems unreal sometimes now that I think about it. Traveling is expensive, so I'll eat, pray, love one of these days after I've saved up some funds, unless I die first. I'd also like to meet David Bowie, but he died, so I can't. Actually, I guess I could still meet him, but it probably wouldn't be worth it. I'm content with everything right now aside from wanting to abandon all responsibility and see the world. Word has it that France has a place where naked ladies dance. Or maybe they wear no pants? Either way it's fascinating and I'm intrigued.

My advice to you would be to not fear death. Everybody does it, so don't waste time worrying about it. You'll get yours, just be patient. That wasn't a threat. Instead, try minimizing the possibility of regret by figuring out what you want to do with your life that makes you happy, what kind of person you want to be and what you can do to benefit humankind and the planet. Find out your talents, improve your skills and see if you can find a way to apply them to helping the world, no matter how small your efforts may seem. And don't forget to set aside time to relax. Everything I've suggested isn't new. There are, there have been and there will be many people with a similar ideology, we just need to be a little louder.

There's a lot of hatred on Earth and it's causing good people to die before they can reach their full potential. It's easier to not think about the world's problems; terrorism, all kinds of inequality, genocide and a potential Trump presidency to name a few, but it's also a bit lazy to disregard this stuff. For example, if I was killed by someone without a truly compelling reason, I wouldn't want a society to be lenient or unresponsive with the party responsible, so why shouldn't I care when it happens to someone else? I can always be more active in this, but I try to be open-minded, learn about the struggles people are facing, absorb their perspectives and call out injustice when I see it. It's not much, but it's the least I can do to make an effort to be informed of the world's problems so I know what needs changing. Change doesn't happen overnight because werewolves don't exist, and it certainly doesn't occur unless people work together, but we can kill hatred with a secret weapon: Love, in the form of silver favors and compliments. I'll always be wondering what more I can do, but I if I keep practicing what I preach I think I will be more content with dying as I get more wrinkly.

This is a lot to process in one sitting, so if any of this sounds like something you want to consider, I advise you to designate a time to think about all this. I picked the wrong time, as I missed the window of opportunity on the moisture of my banana bread. It came out dry and callous, like a review for Suicide Squad. So pick a day. You're still free on Monday, right? Cool, see you then. And I hate to break a promise, but there's actually not gonna be any banana bread. It died.