I'm Not Ready To Settle Down Any Time Soon

I'm Not Ready To Settle Down Any Time Soon

I don't even know what I'm having for dinner tonight, I have no idea when I'll get married.

At 20 years old I'm at kind of a weird time in my life. Half of my friends are starting to get engaged, married or have kids while the other half can't ever seem to remember chugging an entire bottle of wine in one night isn't a good idea. The more I hang out with those first mentioned friends the more they ask me when I'll follow suit. I jokingly tell them I won't be married till I'm 30, except it isn't completely a joke. I am in absolutely no hurry to settle down.

Some people, like my very supporting parents are completely fine with this. They understand my stubborn streak inside of me and my fierce independence. They'll also be some of the first to tell you I'm probably not ready right now anyway. I don't always do the greatest in relationships right now. I tend to not open up well to others and I get annoyed way too quickly. And while they aren't necessarily good habits, I'm young, I need to learn who I really am on my own before I'm with anyone else.

Other people like, God love her, my Grandmother pushing her 80's is convinced I'm destined to be an old spinster. I can't tell you how many times I've heard from her au

And others think that I'm getting older, it's time to start settling down. I'm only 20, not even old enough to legally drink, and some people genuinely expect me to settle down soon. When I tell them I don't want to start having kids til I'm 28 or have been married for at least two to three years they look at me like I'm crazy. Obviously, as a female, I was put on this earth to get married and make babies in a timely fashion. I guess I missed that memo.

The trend of settling down at a young age seems like it's coming back as a society norm slowly. When my grandparents were young, you married between 16 to 20 or you really were a spinster. Not long ago, it started to become frowned upon being married at a young age. In reality, no matter what you do people will judge you for your decision regardless.

Working on my junior year of college I'm more focused on passing my classes, finding internships and next Saturdays football game than I am on settling down. Some of my friends are ready or already have settled down and that's and that's a choice of theirs I'll gladly support. You can bet I'll be the first on the dance floor at their wedding, or I'll cry happy tears for them holding their newborn baby. I just hope they'll be happy for me as I make my own way in the world on my own.

I'm not saying I'll never settle down with someone. Who knows, I might bump into Mr. Right by chance tomorrow night at the grocery store. Until then, though, I'll be perfectly content on my own.

Cover Image Credit: Blake Fox

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Does Social Media Define Your Relationship?

Differing fiction from reality in the facade that is social media.

Have you ever gone a period of time without posting pictures of your significant other and suddenly you start getting questions about whether you're still together or not? Or how about if you go a while without posting to your Instagram or Snapchat story and then start to get self-conscious that people will think you have no life? This is what the digital age has done to us. We constantly feel the need to keep up appearances through media in order to prove ourselves in the social world. It's so easy to get caught up in the realm that is social media, but at some point you need to bring yourself back into reality and realize that social media isn't always what it seems.

We all know those couples who feel the need to post about their significant other CONSTANTLY. And while it's great to show the occasional appreciation, if you feel the need to constantly document your every move on social media, it almost begs the question: are they really trying to convince their partner that they love them, or are they trying to convince the rest of the world, and ultimately themselves? Social media has a unique way of distorting reality from fiction. It creates unrealistic expectations and causes you to doubt your own, perfectly fine relationship. You find yourself wondering, "If my significant other didn't bring me flowers today do they really love me? Is my relationship as happy as theirs?". But what people fail to realize half of the time is that even though that picture perfect couple may look happy on media, that says nothing about what their relationship is truly like when they're face to face with each other. Instagram and other social medias make it entirely too easy to manipulate your posts to make your life look entirely like it's something it's not. I don't know about anyone else, but I would rather have my partner confess their love for me in person or with a handwritten note, rather than posting it on their Snap story or on an Instagram post.

Something that I have noticed from my experiences is that the people who feel the need to post the most about their relationships on media are the people who are the most unhappy within themselves and their relationships. It's almost as if they are trying to put up a façade for the rest of the world so that they can mask their true feelings. Don't let media deceive you- you never know what's going on behind closed doors and the couple that you envy so bad might not be as happy as they make it seem.

A social media post doesn't define your life or your relationships. I know that some of my most fun and happiest moments weren't documented at all. I was too busy trying to be present and live in the moment that I didn't think to stop and take a Snap of what was going on. If you are truly in the moment, odds are, posting and taking pictures will be the last thing on your mind. The only thing that you will have to remember it by is your own memories and the feeling of how happy it made you- the way it should be.

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Please Let Your Boyfriend Play Fortnite, They Are Still Your Boyfriend

Maybe open your mind and you could enjoy it too.

I think we have all seen those girls on Twitter or other social media saying things about guys playing Fortnite. They want their man back, or they think that the game should end so they can spend time with their boyfriend. I have a whole new idea for you if you are one of these girls. Support them when they play, watch them play, or even play with them. Crazy idea, I know.

Personally, I have a love for video games. My Valentine's Day date with my fiancé consisted of us playing Rainbow Six Siege on Xbox for a while. After that, he got on his PC and started streaming more games that he loves. I watched his stream, and genuinely enjoyed it.

Now I know that not all girls love video games like I do or even care about them, but do you think that your man wants to listen to some of your dramatic stories or go with you to buy make up? No. Not usually. He does things with you and for you because he loves you. Maybe you should return the same favor.

Stop asking for Fortnite to give us our men back. Be glad that he can play with his friends and be happy. He can play, and still be around you. He can hang out with everyone at once, and that's pretty cool. Honestly, I would rather a guy be playing a game for a few hours than be somewhere with a girl.

He is not cheating on you. He is not lying to you. He simply enjoys something that you may not. Even when he plays these games, he is still yours. Let him be. They can play games and do things that they enjoy, so please let them.

If you are not someone like me who loves video games with a passion, then be understanding that he does. Stop complaining as if you have lost him. You have your hobbies, and Fortnite or even PUBG may just be his.

Please, just please, stop complaining on social media about a guys video game hobby. The game is fun. Maybe you should try giving it a shot. Try even watching and enjoying it. It may sound crazy, but it never hurts to just try. If you don't, you might just lose him.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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