Read This When You Feel Alone

Read This When You Feel Alone

Because you deserve it
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First, understand that you are never alone. There are always people out there- whether they’re family or friends-there are people out there who care about you, even love you. No matter what’s bothering you, or making you feel like you’re the only person on Earth, there’s thousands of people out there who are feeling the same way. And there’s thousands more who can sympathize with you. People who have been there, people who understand.

I’ve had my share if adversities just like everybody else. I’ve had my heart broken, I’ve been scared, I’ve been hurt. And yes, I’ve felt alone. But then I realize that I’m not alone. I have my family, who are always kind and supportive. I also have my friends, who always remind me of all the good, fun things in life.

But the person I rely on on the most...is myself.

When I feel alone, anxious, or upset, I am my most valuable asset. Although friends and family help me more than you could ever know, what ultimately keeps me going, is well...me. No matter how deep I’ve been cut, I’ve been able to pick myself back up. In these blue times, I remind myself that I am a strong, brave, beautiful person. Sometimes I say this outloud to myself, to cement these facts even further.

The same applies to you. In dark times, you must remember that you are an amazing person. Say it out loud to yourself like I do, or write it down, or repeat it in your head over and over. Because it’s true. No emotions, good or bad last forever. So remember this next time you feel alone: you are strong, your are durable, you can accomplish anything.

Cover Image Credit: wikimedia commons

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It's OK To Be Your Family's "Emily" This Christmas

Your greatest accomplishment may be learning how to cook something other than ramen noodles and oatmeal and that's okay.
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We all know the feeling, one sibling is getting married, another landed their dream job, someone got a promotion, someone bought a house, and another one has a baby on the way.

Everyone has exciting news to share or something to brag to the relatives about, and then there's you.

You’re just a typical college student with absolutely no idea what you want to do in life.

You didn't make a 4.0 this semester or land an internship at some big name company. You aren't dating anyone, expecting a ring, or having a baby anytime soon.

You may not have anything special for your mom to brag about on this years Christmas card, yet you are still content. Your greatest accomplishment may be learning how to cook something other than ramen noodles and oatmeal and that’s okay.

SEE ALSO: 5 Things That Matter Way More Than Having A Boyfriend This Winter

There are years of simply just finding yourself. Years of figuring out what it is you want out of life or searching for something that will finally “fuel your fire.”

Everyone’s path is different, some have more bumps, roadblocks, and flat tires than others, yet despite all of that, we all still get there.

As one of my favorite quotes states, “Don’t compare your life to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon, they shine when it’s their time”

So, no matter how old you are or what stage of life you are in, it is okay to be your family’s Emily this year.

Embrace it, throw your excitement at everyone else’s accomplishments, and be thankful for where you are at.

Your time will come.

Cover Image Credit: Twitter

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I Deleted My Suicide Letter And It's The Strongest Thing I've Ever Done

Nothing has ever felt as good as proving to myself that I am worthy to be here.

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When I was a freshman in college, I went through an extremely difficult and dark time in my life. I was in a new place with new people. I missed my family and my home. My new group of friends didn't treat me well at all and often ignored me. I got caught up in social media drama that ended up cutting me off from every single friend I had made during my high school years. I felt so alone, upset, afraid and worthless.

One night, I shut off my phone, sat in the dark and typed out a suicide letter. I wrote this 3-page letter addressing everybody in my life and basically apologizing for being alive. I felt like a waste of space, the butt of every joke, the lowest of the low. "Nobody respects me anymore, why should I respect myself?" I thought.

That letter had been sitting in a folder on my laptop for two years. I went through a lot of ups and downs. I would read the letter every so often and cry over it. I don't think anybody ever knew I even wrote it. But over those two years, a lot happened to me.

I made a solid group of friends and forgot about the terrible ones who bullied me into tears online. I got a good paying job at a local hospital. I walked out of every semester with a good GPA and my name on the Dean's List. I got hired at Odyssey and worked my way up to EIC. I finally went to a psychiatrist and started taking medicine for my depression and anxiety. I developed a better relationship with my family, especially my sister.

I taught myself confidence. I taught myself strength. But most of all, I taught myself that my life is the most irreplaceable and worthy thing I own.

A few weeks ago, I deleted my suicide letter.

For the first time in what seems like forever, not one part of me wants to stop living. To be honest, I don't think I ever really did. I just wanted to stop being in pain. I wanted good friends, no money worries, good grades and just to be a happy person.

As I'm sitting here writing this, I'm in the process of leasing a brand new car all by myself. I'm applying to summer internships at some of the biggest public relations firms in the country. I'm getting ready for a holiday trip to Chicago with my wonderful boyfriend. I'm wrapping gifts for my family.

My attitude did a 180 when I realized that my life can have so much more meaning if I live it than the statement I once wanted to make by ending it.

I wanted people to know I was in pain and make them regret treating me poorly. I wanted to stop crying myself to sleep and feeling sad, anxious and hopeless. But mostly, I just wanted to be the happy person I know I am inside. So I did.

Not everyone will always understand how I felt, nor would I want anybody to. Some people will read this and think, "Wow, she's weak, she wanted the easy way out." But when I look in the mirror every morning, only I know the strength it took to still be standing in front of it and I thank God every day for that. Wanting to end your suffering doesn't make you weak. Wanting to end it yet still trudging on until you're happy is the strongest thing you could ever do.

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