Read This When You Feel Alone

Read This When You Feel Alone

Because you deserve it
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First, understand that you are never alone. There are always people out there- whether they’re family or friends-there are people out there who care about you, even love you. No matter what’s bothering you, or making you feel like you’re the only person on Earth, there’s thousands of people out there who are feeling the same way. And there’s thousands more who can sympathize with you. People who have been there, people who understand.

I’ve had my share if adversities just like everybody else. I’ve had my heart broken, I’ve been scared, I’ve been hurt. And yes, I’ve felt alone. But then I realize that I’m not alone. I have my family, who are always kind and supportive. I also have my friends, who always remind me of all the good, fun things in life.

But the person I rely on on the most...is myself.

When I feel alone, anxious, or upset, I am my most valuable asset. Although friends and family help me more than you could ever know, what ultimately keeps me going, is well...me. No matter how deep I’ve been cut, I’ve been able to pick myself back up. In these blue times, I remind myself that I am a strong, brave, beautiful person. Sometimes I say this outloud to myself, to cement these facts even further.

The same applies to you. In dark times, you must remember that you are an amazing person. Say it out loud to yourself like I do, or write it down, or repeat it in your head over and over. Because it’s true. No emotions, good or bad last forever. So remember this next time you feel alone: you are strong, your are durable, you can accomplish anything.

Cover Image Credit: wikimedia commons

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22 New Things That I Want To Try Now That I'm 22

A bucket list for my 22nd year.

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"I don't know about you but I'm feelin' 22," I have waited 6 long years to sing that and actually be 22! Now 22 doesn't seem like a big deal to people because you can't do anything that you couldn't do before and you're still super young. But I'm determined to make my 22nd year a year filled with new adventures and new experiences. So here's to 22.

1. Go sky diving.

What's crazier than jumping out of a plane? (Although I'll probably try indoor skydiving first.)

2. Go cliff jumping/diving.

I must be the only Rhode Islander who hasn't gone to Jamestown and jumped off a cliff.

3. Ride in a hor air balloon.

Up, up and away.

4. Try out skiing.

Cash me in the next Olympics, how bout dat.

5. Try out snow boarding.

Shawn White, I'm coming for you.

6. Go bungee jumping.

Because at least this time I'll be attached to something.

7. Go to Portugal.

I mean I'm Portuguese so I have to go at some point, right?

8. Go to Cape Verde.

Once again, I'm Cape Verdean so I have to go.

9. Vist one of the seven wonders of the world.

I mean hey, Egypt's on, my bucket list.

10. Try out surfing.

It's only natural that somebody from the Ocean State knows how to surf.

11. Learn a new langauge.

Because my little bit of Portuguese, Spanish and Latin isn't cutting it anymore.

12. Travel to a state that I've never been to before.

Fun fact: I've only been to 17 of the 50 states.

13. Go paddle boarding.

Pretty boring but I've never done it.

14. Go scuba diving.

I'm from the Ocean State so I guess I should see the ocean up close and personal.

15. Learn how to line dance.

There's actually a barn in my state that does line dancing, so this one will definitely get crossed off.

16. Go kayaking.

All this water around me and I haven't done a lot of the water activites.

17. Stay the night in a haunted hotel room.

I bet if I got my friends to come with me, it would be like the Suite Life of Zach and Cody episode, minus the ghost coming out of the wall but you never know.

18. Get my palms read.

Because who doesn't want to know their future.

19. Go to a medium.

Like a medium that can communicate with people that have died.

20. Take a helicopter ride.

Air plane: check Helicopter:....

21. Sleep under the stars.

Because sleeping in a tent is more like glamping than camping

22. Just to try new things in my everyday life.

Whether it's trying a new restaurant, getting something different at my usual restaurants, changing my usual style, going on the scary rides at amusement parks, and bringing things I used to do back into my life now.

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Be True To Yourself And Stay Real With Those Around You

You're not being rude, hopefully.

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It is important to not be fake or easily swayed by others' opinions. Being true to yourself and having a set of values that people acknowledge as respectable can get you far. Doing the right thing and being reasonable allow you to keep it real. Keeping it real is constantly seeking the truth. However, there is a fine line between being real and being rude.

If you say you're "just being honest" and following that with a rude comment, you're not being real. You can't tear down the people around you just because you're trying to be real with everyone. Being real with the people around you means being respectful. Think about others before you think about yourself. Think about what you're going to say before you say it. Also, think about how you're going to say it.

Tone plays a critical role in keeping it real versus being rude. There are many ways to phrase a statement, and many meanings can come from one statement. By putting emphasis on a different word each time you repeat the statement, it can drastically change the tone. Tone is the intonation of the voice as expressive of some meaning or feeling. If you are aware of your tone, it can stop you from being perceived as rude. It is important to be heard and say what you need to say, but it is also important not to hurt those you care enough about.

Intent also plays a role in being real versus being rude. It is obvious when my mother is telling me something with her best interest at heart. It is obvious when a guy in my elective is telling me something with malicious intent. The fine line between being real and being rude is the intent. The purpose of the phrase coming out of the other person's mouth has a profound effect. Once you learn how to tell the difference between the two, you will have an easier time in life. Make sure to think before you speak. Analyze whether what you're about to say will benefit the person and take into consideration why you are even phrasing a statement. There is a real reason for everything you have to say, and there are also real consequences for what you say.

Context is also important when it comes to maintaining the conversation. Conversations are situational and it is important to only say what is relevant. In order to keep it real and not be rude, you have to dissociate from other outside conversations. You have to know that comments taken out of context can be hurtful and used against you. The circumstances are different for each person involved, so it is in your best interest to keep it real.

It's definitely easier said than done. However, taking context, intent, and tone into consideration will stop you from being perceived as rude. Everyone wants to keep it real, but not everyone is capable of staying within the threshold. This line between being real and being rude has consequences, when the line is crossed. Keeping it real is truly an admirable quality to have.


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