I wanted to believe we were different.

I prayed and wished and hoped and pleaded that we wouldn’t become some statistic.

I had dozens of people scold me "Don't go to college dating your high school love, it won't end up well." I laughed in their faces.

You gave me the impression that we could conquer the world and, being the hopeless romantic that I am, I willingly and blindly followed.

I wanted more than anything for love to be enough.

Unfortunately, I was wrong.

God dammit I was wrong.

I decided to go against everyone else’s opinion and see for myself. I headed into the unknown with no safety belt…I got what was advertised.

I should have known.

I should have seen this coming from miles away.

Being extremely different people, we found ourself butting heads in a multitude of areas. Unfortunately for me, I believed that our differences drew us closer together.

I knew over the summer that things were different…I was just never given the truth. I prayed day and night it was a phase. Rather, my absolute worst nightmare came true.

I was looked deep into my eyes day by day and lied to. I let myself become vulnerable to the person I believed would never hurt me. My body guard, my safety net. The one person who would catch me when I was down found a way to crush me beyond belief.

I was your side kick, your number one fan. If you grew apart from me, I should have been told the truth. If you stayed with me for the comfort and subconsciously needed an out, I DESERVED the truth. I gave you the moon and strived to give you the universe.

I sat here clueless in support of you because I believed you needed it in order to succeed. You took me for granted and you threw me away.

I thrive on control, I need it to function. I do not like change and I fear abandonment. With you, down the garbage disposal I went and there was nothing I could have done to stop it.

I am a person who loves with all of my heart and you have taken advantage of that. You have robbed me of my happiness and you have given me the belief that 3 years of my life have been a scam.

You kept me around for the perks and comfort, for your own personal gain.

As a result, you have snatched me of my innocence. You have stolen my ability to trust and you have shattered my entire world ...Ignorance truly is bliss.

If you were having doubts why didn’t you tell me?

If you wanted to live a different way of living, why didn’t 3 years matter enough for you to give me honesty?

These are answers that you have yet to give me. Questions that you are too selfish to answer. You tell me you will change, that I am your end game, your true love…but you turn around and do the opposite. How am I suppose to believe that you are capable of anything more?

I can’t even comprehend how you were able to consciously and continuously crumble my world.

My body is still paralyzed…but I know that this will take me on a path not yet traveled. A place where I am able to find who I am on my own and make myself smile for ME.

I had faith that love conquers all and that passion was enough. I didn’t care about the obstacles. I wanted you for the rest of my life and I was going to follow whatever path that lead me there.

I always used to believe that our universe was full of right and wrong, black and white. That true love doesn't cheat. Please..for your sake, stop cheating yourself

Now I know that it is so much more complicated than that. We live in a world full vibrant hues and many shades of grey (50 shades preferably).

I am both excited and nervous to explore the rainbow of possibilities I have ahead. I would have never been able to see the colors if it wasn't for hitting bottom.